Disappointment..

Sigh.. Yesterday was felling quite bad for not being able to join my friends at the Spring.. I miss out all the fun they had and the movies too.. I felt even hurt when I heard from Karen how fun it was when they're in Spring.. Sigh.. It's the kind of feeling that nobody understands.. The worst feeling is being left out.. But.. kinda happy that they're having fun.. =)

This morning wasn't really a happy morning.. Mum nagged about me that I always wanted to go out with friends and never wanted to stay at home.. Sigh.. That is so not true at all.. And then she said lots of hurtful things.. Like she won't harap me when she's old and confirmed that she'll be sent to the old folks home when she's old.. and saying that I"m a useless daughter and so on.. I hold on my tears while having breakfast at the coffee shop.. All I can think of and wish for is running away from home.. And I was deeply hurt too when mum said that my Dad talks a lot of negative stuff about me and complain about me after everytime he sent me to any place I wanna go out with friends..

I was thinking.. Maybe next time I won't rely them much to send me here and there ler.. Maybe I can take bus to Spring.. Also can right? Now in Kuching there are so many bus transport.. It won't be a big problem I guess.. And I really got very disappointed that my parents are like that.. What I feared most and hate most is they always use my religion to mock me.. I don't like it..

This morning at church.. the sermon was about what are we running from our life.. then it talks about Jonah and the big fish.. A lot of times in our life we choose to be disobedient.. But we must come to know that through the things that God put us in.. God has a purpose not only for us, but for the people around us.. God's way are not our ways.. And God's thought are not our thoughts.. Maybe I'm given the choices of being obedient or disobedient.. Somehow I heard God's voice today.. He said: You're mature enough to handle this situation and difficulties.. No running away from it.. I'm with you.. Be there among the midst of your parents who do not understand you.. Because you're given a special ministry in it.. =) I'm hoping God will provide me wisdom to deal with them.. And I always remember somebody said this: As a Christian, we should always have patience.. Forgive others just as God has forgiven our iniquities.. Especially those who do not know God and be kind to them.. =)