Reality

It hurts the most when you're feeling sad and down and nobody was there to comfort you, isn't it? That's what I felt last night. Down, disappointed and totally fall into the deepest pit you could ever imagine. 

Was feeling very annoyed and disappointed, well, more than the disappointment you could express at my tuition center. I am working as a part time tuition teacher. Primary school children are hard to deal with. And each session of classes end, we teachers will pull on a black and stormy face and start complaining. Seriously, it's hectic. But a teacher's job can be time-consuming till the day is easily to get over with. You'd be busy with the little kids till when you look up at the clock, it's almost time for them to go home.

I seek for 3 close friends closure and comfort. One leaving soon and she's packing, can chat only awhile and so I cancelled the thought of calling her as she's going to be busy. One in KL travelling with friends and he's not available and the other one over at Kedah having her final exam the next day. Not I don't trust anyone other than these 3, it's just that calling them are free of charge.

Well, of course I cried after that. In the end when he called, I expected him to offer comfort but he could do is just telling where did I do wrong or what mistakes did I make. I do not want to hear criticism or any scolding at that point of time, I just need comfort, a word of closure and a warm hug. It hurts even more when he's the one I trust the most. Yes, he's angry on behalf of me, saying that I didn't deserve such low pay, out of love he said those in a harsh tone. But no, I'm not ready to hear all those suggestions at that kind of situation. And so we fight and quarreled over the phone. It's tiring and exhausting. Before he went over to KL, I prayed that he'd have fun and that no arguments between me and him will break out. But that prayer had not been answered.

He doesn't like me cry. And complained that I often cried too easily. I can understand this cause most boys they don't like to see their girlfriend cry. But crying has always been my expression of devastated state of mind. Sigh. Today I took an off day from our relationship. To be single for a day. I need a break. To do my own things and live for myself once. My biggest weakness is that I am too often living for other people and neglected myself or even asking myself what do I really want and am I happy with the things I do.

Always courteous and put on a smile makes me hide even more truths behind rather that exposing them. People can't see what's happening on the other way round because I had hid them so well and so secure.
I apologise that this post is not entertaining. It's just that this is one of the places I can release my negative emotions. I'm going to take a rest now. And perhaps continuing my artwork in the afternoon.

Yay!

Yay yay! Cheers for myself cause I've started my business! It's been my dream and it's about crafts and artworks! Which totally defines me and arghh~~ EXCITED!

I've made my name card and create a special blog for my business already! It's http://amycraftyideas.blogspot.com/ Please visit if you can.. But mostly I need all your likes for my business facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Crafty/250446025056298 Please give me your likes! ><

Spending my off days making arts and crafts.. Totally indulge in my artwork.. Although I know there might be a lot of crafts work are not impressive, but they all comes straight from my heart to make them :) Hopefully I can get your support. THANK YOU!