Family day

It's a normal saturday. Something happened today but thankfully they are over now.

Got injection today for the cervical cancer prevention. It's my second dose.

I woke up in a blur state and type the wrong pin number of my phone for 3 times. I thought I couldn't sms him or chat with him for the rest of the weekend ler. But luckily I was near hock lee so I manage to go to the digi specialised store to get my PUK code.

Accompany my parents to look for new tv, cabinet and sofa. Happy but xin teng their money at the same time.. :S

Going out to eat later with family. Yay :3

almost graduating

Well yea.. I'm almost graduating from high school. From Form 6. My pre-Uni course in a government school. So there comes the biggest fear of exam in my life. STPM.

Our form 6 last day is on 4th November. Soon right? Around 2 weeks like that nia.

Have been busy lately because of our homework on past year paper questions.

Mood swing

My mood have been swinging lately. I mean seriously. Wasted two days for not studying and spend two nights daydreaming and getting upset.

Shit. Hate it. I can do so much in two nights! I dunno why I get so hot-tempered lately. I can almost find faults all the time with hubby and quarrel with him. I don't want to. But it just get on my nerves. :(

That's all. I don't want to blah some more to spoil anyone's mood too.. Sorry for using harsh words here.

For you. Because you are not alone.

You are not alone. You are my hubby's best friend and therefore is my friend too. Even though I'm not same class with you. I'm sorry that I didn't know you had so much to say and sorry that we didn't know that there are so many things going on in your life right now.

I've been there too. Have been in your shoes and understand how difficult it is to survive all alone when your besties are trying to push you away. Maybe I've never been in a situation that someone who might seems to accept my love then push me away therefore I don't understand.

But, I'm here to tell you that take on courage. You are you. Have confidence. Even though the world treats you invisible, so what? Do your part well in STPM. Just like you say. Can don't care de then jiu dun care. Shut the world around you down and just study hard. Left 37 days more. It's now or never. Chiong ar!!!!! :D

I'm not that welcomed by my classmates too. But because my goal is set on STPM, therefore I'm not that hurt. Trust me, my classmates thinks I'm a pain on their neck too cause I'm a class monitor and I always order them around to carry out their duties. True friends will stick with you through thick and thins and only if you tell them what you're going through. Time will prove to you who is your true friends too.

I know she has hurt you deeply. Take time to cry to mourn and to get over. Love is blind. And I can understand love conquers almost you whole heart. But in this situation right now, be SELFISH! She doesn't want you, nevermind. Fall in love with STPM then. Exam is easier to be controlled than a person's heart i guess. Exam if you put in effort and hardwork, you get the results you deserve. But not love, sometimes even you love that person a lot, she might not want you too.

Don't be sad k? Tell yourself, less than a month and you won't see them le. But I need to let you know something cruel in life. What is yours is yours and what is not yours will not belongs to you no matter how hard you work for it. No one can take it if it's destined just for you.

Maybe it'd be a little hard for you to study alone. Maybe you'd want to consider to study together with us? Maybe Si How can help you with your physics? Even though you both are not in the same school. :) Don't ever ever feel that you're troubling us k? True friends won't think that way when their friends need help. That's all. Take care ya. There will always be rainbows and sunshines after heavy rain.

Hear me out

This is the first time when I blog, I cried. Just read my sisters blog before pouring out what I really wanna say. I realised all of us has stress, depressed about our life at the moment, struggling to fight for our future happiness and to achieve what we're supposed to achieve. Why are we living in such controlled circumstances? Why can't we be happy teenagers? Why? Just tell me cause I demand to know!

Being patient with things going on can only work temporarily. You tried to hide, sweep things under the carpet but that won't work for long. You do things according to what parents wants, instead of letting them to hear you out. You keep on saying: That's ok. That's ok. But the actual fact, it's not ok at all. You're holding your grip so tight to endure those unhappiness, until you couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears. Ya, I'm talking about myself.

I was not feeling well, feel down and pek chek. Mum came home late today from school so I end up to be the one who cook. I forgot to slice off the cucumber skin to cook soup and get complained. Ya, the soup sucks. I don't even want to drink my own soup. I got complained and mum was asking me why didn't I ask. I was feeling so pek chek that didn't even remember to ask. I just want to finish my cooking and take a long nice shower to wash away my burden. She only knows that I did rest in the afternoon and I shouldn't be pek chek. She sees things from the outside only but she never ask what is actually happening inside my inner world. My school and my life, she never bothers. I'm tearing apart. I'm losing my grip. I can't be firm anymore.

I can take it no more. I hate stpm. I don't like to face all these stress that's tearing my life apart. I hate it. Why does this world needs your result cert so that you can be outstanding from other people and in order to survive well? Why? Can I run away from home? Can I do stupid things like hurting myself to forget the pain? Can I?

Tonight I won't be talking to hubby anymore. He's going to be busy with his work and I need to rest due to my fever and for my health concern. Will I be able to sleep tonight without hearing his voice out before sleep? He's the only person that I can rely on right now. God, are you out there?

Speak while watches your mouth

Somehow there are people who talks without processing their speech through brain. Sad, to be honest. I wish they'd be considerate while watching their words uttered out to others. It can be hurtful as much as a double-edged sword which penetrates directly into their heart. Take note please, people.

Of course there's reason behind to drive me this to say this. In my class today, CL was asking Tay why his maths results sucks. At first, I think CL is too much for asking Tay such a rude question. I wish I could slap on behalf of Tay. Later, there comes a shocking news about Tay that his father just passed away not long ago during exam time if not wrong. How could CL hurt Tay like that? If I weren't a Christian, I'd back stab you, slap you, and scolding you for being bithcy.

Urgh.. I felt the pain for Tay. Losing someone dearly is deeply hurtful. Hopefully he'd be strong enough to strive for STPM.

Till here. Needa cook now. :)