Today is a Sunday.. However.. It was not a happy day as it turns out.. I'm feeling stressed out, alone, sad and all the negative feelings I had now.. Aiks.. Tears almost dropping now..
I went to church this morning with Andrea.. But my heart wasn't there in God's temple. I was, however, in my heart praying that the service would end earlier. What is this lousy attitude I have today? Aren't I suppose to rejoice and be happy while having fellowship on Sunday with others? What's wrong with my heart?
Looking at the picture of me and him and receive a sudden msg from him makes me really cry.. I was really frustrated whenever he replied late, thinking that he might no heart to chat anymore.. And whenever he's doing something else he doesn't like to let me know.. Just because he scared I'd be upset. *sigh* Everything seems wrong today and I felt so lost now.. I need God. Urgent. I really stray away from God a lot ler..
Everything seems so silent whenever I'm alone.. Till it really creeps into the bone that made me shivered. It's like a bell not functioning in the virtual reality of mine. Creepy. I did asked myself all the time. That what is the thing that made me change so much when facing all the things around me.. It's like I'm losing passion for life, God, friends, love, family and everything I do that once I used to really love enjoying to do so.. *sigh* What is that thing that dragged me to feel like this? How come I seem that I don't have any choices to be happy other than to be sad? Why? Why is it so hard to let me get up again after being beaten down? Why?
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