My Diary. My Life. My Story

Hi Bloggie

2012-01-10T01:02:00.000-08:00

Losing grip in my faith of trust. Don't worry. It doesn't involve God.

A message for You and You. Dear Lord, you know what I mean. :)

I know you're going work soon. So I guess you won't be smsing me when you're driving. Nvm, if I forgot to tell you what happened, that means I have forgotten.

I have been so weak in my faith in others. I don't understand why the walls between me and others keep building up. But I'm thankful yours and mine has always been keeping low.

Told by my cousin that I've been backstabbed in Form 5.

Brother fails to transfer class so she put the blame on me for not helping him to ask about/ask to apply.

So it was my fault?

For being stupid, naive and innocent and ignorant and stubborn.

I feel like weed in a pond where nobody truly cares or notice. I'm just the little weed that doesn't deserve love from others?

Now I'm getting more and more to believe this. It might be true that as long as my world has you and Abba Father, maybe you both are all I need in order to survive.

A New Beginning

2011-12-04T18:42:00.000-08:00

Maybe November is full of sorrow and sadness. So I'm gonna start off December posts with happy and encouraging things.

My baby wants to follow me to church! Yes! That's a great news to the kingdom of God! I'm mostly happy as my prayer is answered. Well, I pray that he'll presevere ans stay faithful in the Lord. We'll be going for my church Thanksgiving Night on New Year Eve.

Next, Im looking for a job next year. Hopefully I can get a job in a wedding studio, something I'd like to try out lately to get experience. But overall, I'll let God in charge because my Abba Father knows best on what job is the best for me. *wink*

Lord Lord, here I am. Use me. Mould me. Shape me. Purify me. Strengthened me. Challeneged me. Let me know that all my worries are but a moment only. :)

Guess So

2011-11-24T03:55:00.000-08:00

I guess today was one of those days that I feel extremely down and moody.Please don't tell me that day is repeating again, where memories trailed back 2 years ago that left me bleeding and hurt. Where you cry out and ask for treatment and even the best doctor in the world can't even heal you. Except God.

I get speechless today. Thankfully today's paper is ok for me. Speechless for what has happened to situation around me, personally. Especially the one who is dearest to my hear.

Nobody knows what has got into me emotions lately. Not even me myself. I feel like lying on bed all night. Waiting for you. But no. I can't let myself down and get defeated like that. I'm not a loser. I want to be a winner.

If you happened to read this and do not understand what I say, that's ok. Cause it's not meant to be understood.

Where have you been? Sigh. That's the questions I've asked all the time when I'm waiting alone for your reply.

What happened to me too?

Tomorrow and 2 more days

2011-11-18T01:28:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Muet. 2 more days is STPM.

Hopefully I can get a result that can enable me to enter local university..

*crossing fingers*

Need all your prayers. It's crucial. :D

Expectations

2011-11-11T18:07:00.000-08:00

Parents and other relatives are expecting I'll do well in STPM. Well, hopefully I will.. Though I doubted myself.

Today is a Saturday. Hmm.. Doing revision of course. But now I"m sneaking away to surf internet and play Plants vs. Zombies to relax. Thank goodness my parents are not at home. If not, I'll feel guilty..

Can't wait for my long holidays though. Waiting waiting waiting..

Talking about you

2011-11-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

We had the best conversation last night. I was so active that I don't want to go to bed and yet you were patient to chat with me. We talk about lame jokes, claiming to revenge on each other whenever we see each other(which is toady) and our future. You spoilt my cold joke, making me feel so speechless. But I'm so reluctant to mad at you cause at that moment you make me laugh so hard and feel like pinching your cheeks(even though they are not chubby). You always give the best advice you can, the best comfort a guy can give i think.

But I wanna say that, thank you. For exchanging the rum and raisin ice-cream with me with your favorite passion fruit yogurt. You knew that I chose the wrong flavour when the rest of the flavors of ice-cream are almost finished but not the rum and raisin. I always wanted to go to that ice-cream shop to eat but I'm happiest when my first time is you and me.

Thank you for sending me home and watching me to open gates until I enter and locked the door. I'm sorry for the doubts and sorry for naughtily accusing you thinking of other gals when you're not responding me on the phone.

Thank you, for making me your special girl.

Family day

2011-10-22T03:35:00.000-07:00

It's a normal saturday. Something happened today but thankfully they are over now.

Got injection today for the cervical cancer prevention. It's my second dose.

I woke up in a blur state and type the wrong pin number of my phone for 3 times. I thought I couldn't sms him or chat with him for the rest of the weekend ler. But luckily I was near hock lee so I manage to go to the digi specialised store to get my PUK code.

Accompany my parents to look for new tv, cabinet and sofa. Happy but xin teng their money at the same time.. :S

Going out to eat later with family. Yay :3

almost graduating

2011-10-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

Well yea.. I'm almost graduating from high school. From Form 6. My pre-Uni course in a government school. So there comes the biggest fear of exam in my life. STPM.

Our form 6 last day is on 4th November. Soon right? Around 2 weeks like that nia.

Have been busy lately because of our homework on past year paper questions.

Mood swing

2011-10-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

My mood have been swinging lately. I mean seriously. Wasted two days for not studying and spend two nights daydreaming and getting upset.

Shit. Hate it. I can do so much in two nights! I dunno why I get so hot-tempered lately. I can almost find faults all the time with hubby and quarrel with him. I don't want to. But it just get on my nerves. :(

That's all. I don't want to blah some more to spoil anyone's mood too.. Sorry for using harsh words here.

For you. Because you are not alone.

2011-10-13T03:13:00.000-07:00

You are not alone. You are my hubby's best friend and therefore is my friend too. Even though I'm not same class with you. I'm sorry that I didn't know you had so much to say and sorry that we didn't know that there are so many things going on in your life right now.

I've been there too. Have been in your shoes and understand how difficult it is to survive all alone when your besties are trying to push you away. Maybe I've never been in a situation that someone who might seems to accept my love then push me away therefore I don't understand.

But, I'm here to tell you that take on courage. You are you. Have confidence. Even though the world treats you invisible, so what? Do your part well in STPM. Just like you say. Can don't care de then jiu dun care. Shut the world around you down and just study hard. Left 37 days more. It's now or never. Chiong ar!!!!! :D

I'm not that welcomed by my classmates too. But because my goal is set on STPM, therefore I'm not that hurt. Trust me, my classmates thinks I'm a pain on their neck too cause I'm a class monitor and I always order them around to carry out their duties. True friends will stick with you through thick and thins and only if you tell them what you're going through. Time will prove to you who is your true friends too.

I know she has hurt you deeply. Take time to cry to mourn and to get over. Love is blind. And I can understand love conquers almost you whole heart. But in this situation right now, be SELFISH! She doesn't want you, nevermind. Fall in love with STPM then. Exam is easier to be controlled than a person's heart i guess. Exam if you put in effort and hardwork, you get the results you deserve. But not love, sometimes even you love that person a lot, she might not want you too.

Don't be sad k? Tell yourself, less than a month and you won't see them le. But I need to let you know something cruel in life. What is yours is yours and what is not yours will not belongs to you no matter how hard you work for it. No one can take it if it's destined just for you.

Maybe it'd be a little hard for you to study alone. Maybe you'd want to consider to study together with us? Maybe Si How can help you with your physics? Even though you both are not in the same school. :) Don't ever ever feel that you're troubling us k? True friends won't think that way when their friends need help. That's all. Take care ya. There will always be rainbows and sunshines after heavy rain.

Hear me out

2011-10-04T04:57:00.000-07:00

This is the first time when I blog, I cried. Just read my sisters blog before pouring out what I really wanna say. I realised all of us has stress, depressed about our life at the moment, struggling to fight for our future happiness and to achieve what we're supposed to achieve. Why are we living in such controlled circumstances? Why can't we be happy teenagers? Why? Just tell me cause I demand to know!

Being patient with things going on can only work temporarily. You tried to hide, sweep things under the carpet but that won't work for long. You do things according to what parents wants, instead of letting them to hear you out. You keep on saying: That's ok. That's ok. But the actual fact, it's not ok at all. You're holding your grip so tight to endure those unhappiness, until you couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears. Ya, I'm talking about myself.

I was not feeling well, feel down and pek chek. Mum came home late today from school so I end up to be the one who cook. I forgot to slice off the cucumber skin to cook soup and get complained. Ya, the soup sucks. I don't even want to drink my own soup. I got complained and mum was asking me why didn't I ask. I was feeling so pek chek that didn't even remember to ask. I just want to finish my cooking and take a long nice shower to wash away my burden. She only knows that I did rest in the afternoon and I shouldn't be pek chek. She sees things from the outside only but she never ask what is actually happening inside my inner world. My school and my life, she never bothers. I'm tearing apart. I'm losing my grip. I can't be firm anymore.

I can take it no more. I hate stpm. I don't like to face all these stress that's tearing my life apart. I hate it. Why does this world needs your result cert so that you can be outstanding from other people and in order to survive well? Why? Can I run away from home? Can I do stupid things like hurting myself to forget the pain? Can I?

Tonight I won't be talking to hubby anymore. He's going to be busy with his work and I need to rest due to my fever and for my health concern. Will I be able to sleep tonight without hearing his voice out before sleep? He's the only person that I can rely on right now. God, are you out there?

Speak while watches your mouth

2011-10-03T01:25:00.000-07:00

Somehow there are people who talks without processing their speech through brain. Sad, to be honest. I wish they'd be considerate while watching their words uttered out to others. It can be hurtful as much as a double-edged sword which penetrates directly into their heart. Take note please, people.

Of course there's reason behind to drive me this to say this. In my class today, CL was asking Tay why his maths results sucks. At first, I think CL is too much for asking Tay such a rude question. I wish I could slap on behalf of Tay. Later, there comes a shocking news about Tay that his father just passed away not long ago during exam time if not wrong. How could CL hurt Tay like that? If I weren't a Christian, I'd back stab you, slap you, and scolding you for being bithcy.

Urgh.. I felt the pain for Tay. Losing someone dearly is deeply hurtful. Hopefully he'd be strong enough to strive for STPM.

Till here. Needa cook now. :)

I wish today is just a day and not another day.

2011-09-28T00:55:00.000-07:00

Feel sad today in school. Barely talk to anyone in class and don't feel like talking too. P.A. paper was given back today. I got 55%. Was very disappointed to be honest. Was aiming for an A. I had full confidence in my P.A. and I thought I can get the award for the best subject in P.A. But I was wrong and crushed when I see my results are like this. I almost cried but I hold on my tears. Don't wanna get teased again.

I was very angry at one of my classmates who cheated in the exam. But I said nothing in front her. I just kept quiet but I do realised I have distanced myself away from her lately. She got the answers from our class top student. She cheated almost on every subject. I wonder God see it or not. Why God didn't wanna do anything on her? This question has been swirling in my mind all the time as long as when the test papers are given back. What about others who are righteous in the exam? Shouldn't we get what deserve for working hard?

I was quite devastated lately because of this cheating issue. It's not fair. All I can think about is this. But what can I do? I was praying when nobody realised it. I was asking God can He let me give up in STPM? I'm so demotivated. But God said: No.So long as I didn't give up, so do you.

I secretly believe that STPM I'm going to do better. Yes I will. Lighting this hope is crucial to get me back on my feet to fight a fair fight once more. Last chance. If she is going to cheat again, I don't know what else I can say. Let God handle I guess, will be the wisest choice. I trust you, Lord.

I was happy to see my parents waiting for me when I finish school. I love my home and my family. Seeing them makes me feel warm and I can forget all the other unhappiness that is currently happening.

Glad that today is just a day. :)

Like you.

2011-09-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

I mean R&B songs.. Addicted to listening to S.H.E.'s songs lately.. even though I'm very very out-dated of their songs ler.. Love any songs that dance like R&Bs.. :)

One thing I like about S.H.E.'s songs is the lyrics are so artistic and mysterious.. They're touching and yet bringing you unlimited imagination.. Too bad Selina is still recovering and this lovely group of girls can't release their album yet.. I'm trying to collect all the nice songs from their album now and put them in my phone.. :)

Today I'm sitting for my maths Paper 2. Really really hard.. T.T was wondering how will my maths be next week.. will it be a disaster?

I'm having a dilemma today.. shouldn't have said things without thinking of it through.. now i'm causing troubles to myself..

And lastly.. I'm wondering about the title of "best friend". Is that really important? Hmm.. I do get jealous sometimes honestly.. Maybe I shouldn't mind that much though.. I guess it's enough to have him as my best friend? hehe.. anyway, thank you, my guy..

Sad

2011-09-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Well.. there are few reasons to be sad about.

1. I realised how fat I am whenever I see nice clothes and I thought I can wear but in the end the clothes proved to me that I'm not qualified.

2. For felling down and hurt my knees for the second time of the year. Worst still, the moment you fell down at the road side your classmates are laughing away how clumsy you are. Hurt.

3. My beloved phone sent for repair and till today still no news. Don't like using other people's phone.

4. For missing my dear one very much..

Let's bow head and mourn for this sad day. Sigh.

Raya and Merdeka Holiday

2011-08-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

And it's also Sharon's birthday today! She is the merdeka baby 19 yeras ago and now have grown up as a merdeka girl liao.. Happy birthday, Sharon!!

Had a nice time out with friends last night at Secret Recipe, Jalan Song. We laughed a lot and spend time together.. It was a nice gathering :) Felicia went back to KL this morning.. Sad sad.. :')

Anyway, I had a nice holiday this time round. I didn't study much though exam is round the corner.. haha.. Glad that mum's hand is ok now..

I really like what is happening around me now.. Everything is peaceful and close to perfect.. I wish life would be as smooth as now..

Have a nice holiday everybody!

Saturday

2011-08-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

Boring Saturday.. But things get better in the afternoon when I went for badminton with my besties.. :)

Was not feeling well after playing half way though. Got gastric and stomach growling for food. My stamina was low and couldn't play for long.. haha..

Anyway, I'm happy happy happy that I can see tiok Feli, Karen and Mal.. ^^

At night doing little homework and mostly just loitering around.. No mood at all.. Sorry to my books and exam.. :(

That's all.. waiting for hubby to come home from work while chatting with my girls.. :)

Surprise

2011-08-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

Surprise surprise surprise!! My darling Felicia is officially back in Kuching!! Going to hang out with my girls for badminton tomorrow afternoon.. with Mal mal, Karen and Feli.. Yesh!!

Karen and Felicia managed to fooled me on Thursday. Karen kept on talking about how she misses feli so much and so on.. Our topic just revolve around feli. And all of a sudden, karen passed to me her house phone, and there comes the familiar voices of felicia.. I thought she called from KL eh.. then she said: I'm back in Kuching!

I was so shocked and surprise cause she never told me she's gonna come back.. I'm so thrilled till me face very funny, according to Karen la.. hahaha.. Luckily she didn't videotaped my face expression.. XD

Well, today is friday.. Gonna study later after resting after dinner for a while. Feel contented today even though my temper went wrong..

This post is specially dedicated to Ms. Prawnie Felicia to welcome her home back to Kuching :) We're so happy to have you back here in Kuching, Feli!!

And for Karen, who complained that I didn't update my blog de, I already update le ya.. hehe...

it's August!!

2011-08-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

August is here! Last night went to kuching festival with my family and had a nice time there buying all the yummy food and drinks.. Saw quite a lot of people too..

Today is first Sunday of August.. Fast enough that one week is almost over already. Didn't have much time to blog now so I just drop by to blog awhile.

Will update soon if I have time.. ^^

A time for me

2011-07-18T23:47:00.000-07:00

Tuesday. Glad that today is finally today. :) Finish my two days monthly test. Glad that all the temporary torture is over. The biggest torture is yet to come, sad to say. There's mock exam and the final public exam. Still continue o strive so hopefully I can make it to my target. Hehe..

Well, nothing much to say actually. I'm just happy that now I can do my things without anyone nagging beside me ordering me to leave computer and study. I'm happy now.

By the way, I had an awesome weekend last week. Went out with friends to Tarot Cafe to have a farewell lunch for uncle. Glad to see hubby though (of course la!)

Have a nice day out there everyone!

Thoughts written.

2011-07-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

Well, Monday is our school monthly test again.. Nervous and yet lazy.. Today on the way sending my brother to tuition, I saw a motorcyclists got a minor accident by the road side. It happened right in front of my eye. I almost got heart attack! Then there's one kiam pak silver myvi driver, his direction is red light but he drove so fast when I'm u-turning! My land is green light at that time. I got so pissed off and I complained to my parents. Ishh.. no law de.. If he langgar me sure ask him to pay more than it should be.. Teach him a lesson.

Tomorrow gonna go for an early jog with Karen and other friends. Then have St. John meeting and later went out for tea with uncle and other friends. Uncle flying off to KL soon for pursuing in architecture. One more friend gone from Kuching. Sigh.

Today hubby no work. So can chat with him and have him accompanying me. Hehe.. He works a s a waiter at Richmond Place while waiting for his degree course to start. :)miss him. Can't wait till the last day of July..

Anyway, now should be the time to focus in the coming exam.. Jia you oh!!

A Random Friday

2011-07-08T06:28:00.000-07:00

Listening to sad and emotional songs just now and I had a lot of feelings now for my life and everything around.

This week passes well and meaningful. Tomorrow is our choir club singing competition. Gonna cheer my friends up though :) Got some weekend homework to do and going to a food fair this Sunday with Cerise. Got those free ticket from our economy teacher.

Hate it most when you really really study hard upstairs but your parents accused you for not studying. Sighing sighing.. Disappointed. Just because I'm singing while studying. They must have been nuts. ;)

Anyway, I realize I'm the kind of girl who'd beg a guy to stay if my relationship with any guy doesn't work out.. Especially the one I really love. I discovered this through a song sang by Taylor Swift. Haha..

Happy weekend everyone!

Art Therapy

2011-07-05T01:19:00.000-07:00

My eyes lighten up when I saw the word art today. My teacher passed to me a paper asking me to tick those who want to attend the art therapy session in the afternoon.

At first, I want to attend the economy class, but the till the end I "bo xim".. hehe.. So I attend the workshop with a few of my classmates.

Well, the lady (therapist) analyse the colours and the things we draw. Haha. I used pink to colour the whole paper when she asked us to pick a colour to colour the paper. She analyse that I'm always lonely.. haha.. Quite true de.. Then I draw a lot of other stuff behind the paper, as we're told to do so too..

Well, quite acurrate de lar about what she said.. Hehe.. Well, this is what is special today. Now searching for the songs for choir.. I feel quite sien de ler.. :(

If this was a movie..

2011-07-03T01:50:00.000-07:00

Inspired from Taylor Swift. Love this song sang from her.. Emo but it touches my soul somehow :)

If everything was like a movie, I want to be my own director..

If everything was like a movie, I'll let myself get a good life, get 4A in STPM, decide on which university I wanna go, decide what career I want and decide who I want to marry to..

If everything was like a movie, wouldn't it be nice to know that you still can change the script and the story line if things don't turn out what we want?

If everything was like a movie, I'd want to change things that I want to change.

If everythings was like a movie, things would be a lot easier than it ought to be, right?

If.. and only if..

Blahs and Complaints

2011-06-29T23:50:00.000-07:00

You guessed right if you know that I'm going to complained (a lot) in this blog. Let me just spill out all those little fussy miserable pathetic things out. I'm not going to let you say or judge me. Cause I'm tired of it. That's your mouth and I have my right to choose to take it or not. (Sorry that this blog is making you frustrating)

My dad cut my pocket money. Sad. (Cut RM10 off)

I'm sick of quizzes and the coming exmas. Miserable.

I hate fining songs for choir club and wasting my time waiting for the song to download. Hate that they always seems to "order" me to do this and that. (Perhaps I think too much)

I hate the fact that I always need to save money in hard way in order to buy the things I want. Especially I'm saving hard money now to cure my pimple-acne face. :(

I hate my life all of a sudden. Hate the fact that I"m not rich in

the 200th

2011-06-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

Haha.. I hit 200th post today. ><

Maybe I'm gonna bla a bit here and there. Today is Friday. My brother's birthday too. Finally it comes to weekend. :) tomorrow is grandma's birthday. My cousin bought me 3 cool pairs of earrings.. hehe.. suitable for dinner only. Still thinking what to wear for tomorrow night's dinner.. hmm.. Tonight gonna do homework liao.. Seriously.. ><

My PA teacher is starting to drill us with extra works in order to pass in STPM. (Grateful and yet lazy when I see the tons of work in front of me.) Left 5 more months liao.. Starting to get nervous too..

WEnt out with mum for shooping just now. School today was fun. Last two period had a nice time with my adorable Business Studies teacher. haha.. Talked about make-up and body language. Each of us need to show one body language in front of the class on Monday.

Now is 5 o'clock. Going to bath soon. You know what, I'm starting to get annoyed with people who constantly change their profile picture on Facebook. Like each week once? I know they like to share with others how they look like or what they're doing or what they have etc. but then.. I'm wondering whether are they actually gaining attention from others to comment. I know they are born to be pretty or handsome and you love to camwhore and etc etc. But it's making me feeling uncomfortable. (Especially those who put on thick make-up or act cute???)Nothing personal. Just wondering. It's a democratic country anyway. I don't like you, and therefore you're off from my friend's list(we're in win-win situation). Not gonna hurt each other right? >_n

Love is here. In your heart :)

2011-06-23T01:05:00.000-07:00

A random title. Haha. Nothing much connected with the title above. I just woke up not long ago and then head straight downstaris to online instead of studying.. :S

I just browsed through a lot of fachion shops in facebook. Saw lots of nice dinner dresses. Too bad my body doesn't fit for them. Lol.. So what was currently in my mind right now. White dress. I know I look fat in white dress but somehow I love white dresses. Lol.. Fat arms and legs and tummy. Lol.. Only suitable for black dress. Haven't had a black dress and white dress before. Hopefully next year chinese new year can buy one of each colour. (white should be harder to find i think ><)It sounds like this blog is very boring. Haha.

Then then, today nothing much happened also. My phone hasn't ring with hubby's msg even though now is already 4.20 (He finishes class at 3.30) Still waiting. Going to study soon though. My PA teacher is pushing me to get 4 Principal in STPM. I have potential but I'm lazy. I know I can achieve it if I'm hardworking enough. Sigh.

Pathetic me.

Oh ya. I got my white shirt today. Grandma helped me bought it. A bit longer and thin. I look fat in it. (Seriously) the tummy part. :S Gonna diet first before I wear it to let people see.. If not I'm sure they'd think that I'm pregnant. :S

Sleepy mimizi..

2011-06-21T06:12:00.000-07:00

Today was so sleepy.. MY eyes were so droppy. I hadn't had my nap this afternoon after I came home cause I was busy "playing" with my new netbook given by the government.. Finally got it.. I'm thankful to God because He is the who gave me this present. God is the one who reminded me to bring purse along because I do not have the habit to bring purse to school. But the night before I pack my bag, somehow I'm lucky enough to bring my purse. If not I don't think I can get the laptop :)

Had ekonomi extra class today. Had sandwich for lunch. Nothing much today. This Saturday is Hari Permuafakatan. Dunno how my parents will react when they see me fail 3 subjects.. >< Lol..

These two days I didn't study much. It's either I'm busy with ekonomi correction or I"m tired. I just hop I can continue with my hardwork.. STPM left 152 days.. :S sadly to say.. Gotta go now. Ciao!

Back here:)

2011-06-15T02:53:00.000-07:00

Haha.. I'm blogging again.. It means spilling out what has happened lately on me in this cute little bloggie ><

Exam results are out and only my PA is satisfying enough. :) other subjects mo ngan tai.. hahaha.. But I'm glad that I came back to who I am these days by working hard in my academic ;) Can't wait till year end!!! Hopefully I can do my best for my once-in-a-lifetime STPM.

Next month will be tutoring by Mr. Kho Si How on my integration and differentiation. This handsome man has a big mission ahead to hlep me score in my mock exam in September before his degree course starts.. *muahahaha* Can't wait for it. I will still rejoice even my mum grounded me untuk STPM is over..

I got a lot of advice and motivation from both my mum and my teacher. Weird as she sounds (my *** teacher, I know she meant well to get us to work hard so that we'll have no regrets later in life..

Just got this free time to blog while waiting my turn to use the bathroom.. everyone who is sitting for exam soon, JIA YOU ya!!!

My road trip

2011-06-08T04:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday had a road trip with family and mum's colleague to Annah Rais Hot Spring. It was a long journey from kuching and don't ask me how to go cause I"m not a driver.. XD

Spent a morning there enjoying ourselves with the refreshing water and hot spring. It was well maintained and clean. Adults have to pay RM5 each and students RM3 each. Nearby there is a Bidayuh village for you to visit but you have to pay RM8 for an adult and RM4 if you're a student.

So, nothing much yesterday and we reached home at 4. Dinner at 3rd Mile market and I had siow be.. (yum yum yum~)

Today wednesday had a road trip again to Siniawan, Bau, Kpg Apar and Kpg. Buso. Had a nice day today and we visited the Paku Hot Spring. Nothing there cause still not yet developed. Annah Rais better. Then we went to a Bamboo Botanical Garden which was so deep inside, got bitten by fire ants and mosquitos. I'm insect-phobia now.

Also we visited a historical memorial park at Jalan Bau Lama, Siniawan, a Chinese hero during the Rajah Brooke's empire in Sarawak, Liu San Bang, who led 600 Chinese to rebel against Brooke. Interesting cause we never learn this before in our Secondary school Sejarah syllabus.

Reach home at around 4. Aunt came over to give us orange. Had dinner then blogging.. Tonight wanna do some homework, read Bible and have a good rest.. :) That's all <3

Demotivated

2011-06-06T04:37:00.000-07:00

Just posting a new blog page on my Mimizi's corner. Today as usual. Feel so lazy and DEMOTIVATED and not in a mood to study at all. Or do my homework. :(

Yesterday went out shopping with Sharon to buy birthday present. Was tiring but fun. Finally bought the anniversary present that I want to give hubby. *Happy*

Saturday was really interesting and tired. Hubby finally pick me up with his car (his mom's car) in the morning to go to school's station games. ^^ You know, the excites feeling that first time in your life your boyfriend pick you up like a gentleman really makes me feel dreamy and happy. So after he got the permission to drive, I can't sleep the whole night because my adrenaline flows with excitement. Ok, you may think I'm silly but I"m like jumping up and down and feel so hyper. Haha.

So he was my driver and drove me around to wheever I want to go. After school event, we to Popular bookfair and later had lunch at McD with our friends. :) then send his friend home and send me home too. I just wish that day hadn't pass so fast because that Saturday is one of the best day I ever had with him.. ^^

Tomorrow will be going to Hot Spring with family at Padawan. Miss Karen and Felicia alot.. :( miss the time when three of us hand out together like sisters. :) I got to find my motivation back. If not, I'm doomed.

Gawai first day :)

2011-06-01T04:23:00.000-07:00

Today is Wednesday and it's the first day of Gawai. It's a festival for aborigines in Sarawak, Malaysia. As a sarawakian, today is an official holiday for us.

Today went out lim teh with dear sharon and I bring hubby along. Glad we're all well and it's nice to catch up with one another. But.. things turned out not so well though. I left without telling sharon and she got very angry at me. (hopefully she wun be mad for too long) I did called her that me and hubby are going to look for presents so I thought we're going to go on seperate ways. But she didn't get my meaning and therefore misunderstanding arouse. I kept apologizing and remind myself that next time have to call her before I go home.. I thought she want er ren shi jie with ronald and that she'd be thankful that I left them?? haha.. Just kidding.

After I sent hubby home, I was mad at hubby that he made me got jealous and we got into a fight. He refused to let me see who he's smsing with and I got mad. You know girls always think a lot and they're very sensitive and so I suspect that he's smsing a girl. If you have nothing to hide why wouldn't you let your girlfriend see your phone right? Don't tell me you need privacy or what cause I would think that is really selfish. Then later he comfort me and I forgive for making me worried and jealous. He was smsing with his college friend. That's what he told me. Lol..

Then, my family crisis broke up. Mum, dad and brother quarelled after they've done their shopping this afternoon. When they reached home, they are really hot-tempered. Brother insisted that he doesn't want to go to tuition and mum doesn't allowed. She mind about the money she paid and plus she doesn't want my brother to loiter around at home. Dad got furious that mum was constantly nagging and scolding non-stop and they both fight. Then when we had dinner outside at Jalan Song, Mum dragged me into the family argument. I felt so innocent for being scolded unreasonably. :(

So when I reach home, I really wanna pour this thing out because if I didn't, I"m going to burst soon. Not sure what I"m going to do later but I think will be doing some homework. Feel so bored at home. :)

A moment of grieve and peace

2011-05-29T00:14:00.000-07:00

MY aunty's father-in-law just passed away earlt this morning. Was expected that his days are numbered because we're told that he's very sick for the past few months and he no longer can take any food. So me and parents went to their funeral just now after sending brother for tuition.

I like the atmosphere cause it's peaceful and quiet. Flowers with condolences wordings are everywhere. Mum said she liked it because it doesn't scared away people.
I hope mum will receive Christ as Saviour someday. So that I can still meet her up in heaven after we both died. :)

Today I went for church service and sang this old song that I really like very much. It's called: Because He lives. I remembered that when I was younger in my teenage time I used to sing this to comfort myself whenever difficulties striked me. I know Jesus live so shall my fear shall be gone.

Jesus is my all-time hero. :)

A lovely Saturday..

2011-05-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

Karen has gone to KL and Canada.. :( nobody to chat with anymore and nobody to hear me babbling and complaining and gossiping.. I only have God and hubby to rely on.. But hubby is not always free.. Even at night we chat, it's not a chat with a sister.. I can't possibly take my hubby as a sister right? Lol..

But, this afternoon, I'm going to facial treatment alone.. Made an appointment with Herbaline at Jalan Song at 2 p.m. They have this RM38 promotion so I'm ging to try out.. Then I plan to go to look for hubby's present for our coming 2nd anniversary.. :) Haven't been buying him anything since his last birthday.. ^^

Lonely at home now, I'm searching for instrumental music. Parents and brother went out for breakfast and dunno go where after that. So I got to use this computer all alone without having to fight with my brother for it..

Got our telematch tshirt already just now at St. John meeting. Veron wasn't present today so I got to think of our station game alone.. Hopefully hubby can be there next week for our station games. <3 miss him lots..

Off flying~

2011-05-26T21:04:00.001-07:00

Happy mode on.. ^^

Guess what, exam finally finished!! I'm so glad and feel so free to have this burden off my shoulders for two weeks.. I don't need to see my school teachers who only makes me stressed about this year end publice exam.. No matter how much I'm reluctant to sit for it, I still have to cause it's an order!!!

Nutty me.. Anywhere, my economic teacher gave us back our mikro paper and i just passed! whew~ But we need to do corrections for the paper during the holiday.. At least not so bad.. teehee~

I wanna use this two weeks time to recharge myself fully before school reopen.. Because once school reopen, there will be no more hlidays available until 31st August.. Sad right?

Anyway, today is friday and it's my grandpa's anniversary.. Gonna visit him later at 3.. miss my grandpa.. Lotsa things to tell him.. ^^

Random mood..

2011-05-26T02:30:00.000-07:00

Went for a jog today wit karen before she flew off to Canada. Well, sadly to say it rained so we only manage to jog for around 40 minutes. :)

After I reach home, I get frustrated with my dad for smsing me whenever I go out with friends.. It's not the way a person would care for you you know, he's like insulting you with the question: What kind of jogging is this under the rain? I'm so mad about it..

:( sad to say that I"ll be quite lonely today because hubby was not free to accompany me.. I have to fins something else to do in order not to miss him too much.. Tomorrow last paper.. Followed by 2 weeks of school holiday and k-books season with su hui in the library. :)

JIA YOU!!

Continue with yesterday..

2011-05-18T23:51:00.000-07:00

Me new blog will probably starts end of the year.. or the latest is after my exam.. Will be posting random stuff and opinions on certain things and issues.. :)

Today P.A. luckily quite easy de.. except bahagian E :( well, no else looking back so might as well look forward to tomorrow.. Going off to study business liao.. Friday's here.. hehe.. can't wait to finish my exam and after that I"m free!!!!

I'm startinng new..

2011-05-18T01:18:00.000-07:00

well, I create a new blog for myself.. :) It's all about my interests and hobbies and I might learn something new and post in there to share with everyone.. :) photos will be uploaded too..

This blog my diary my life and my story will be more to my daily life stories.. you guys can continue to read on if you want to or visit my new websites also can.. hehe..

Tomorrow is my exam liao.. and I'm still blogging here.. LOL.. :D

Just a day i suppose..

2011-05-12T04:46:00.000-07:00

My uncle pass away yesterday and today is his funeral.. He's a Christian so we had a simple funeral at a Kenyalang church near Kuching Town.. the sevice was very creepy. *U'd know if you attend their service* well, was really tired after coming back from the funeral.. I didn't go to the family dinner tonight.. Lazy to go..

Now, I want to sleep.. so sleepy and lazy and tired.. Lol.. I'll be away for home for 3 days 2 nights cause my grandma need company so I'll be going over to sleep with her.. :) gonna miss my bed badly de..

Anyway, I got my leg hurt and injured.. probably because of the hot weather and my sweat.. haha.. friction between my legs and ended up with red patches and bruises.. so painful.. T.T but thank goodness they're all gone now..

I don't like going to school anymore.. My ekon teacher say I can't pass.. She mentioned all the girls name that will pass except me.. I don't care anymore whether I'm petulent or not but it intrigued me just because I didn't draw a graph for her.. :( sweat.. whatever.. I know I don't like ekonomi anymore..

That's all for now, mum's oven spoilt ki.. She's sad about it.. Now mum wants to use ler.. gotta go.. bye!

the night before my day :)

2011-05-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

I'm always anxious to know what's in store for my birhtday every year.. hehe.. and finally tonight is the last night I live up as an 18 year-old teenage girl.. XD quite reluctant to say goodbye though.. >< I'm gonna turn 19 officailly when the clock stikes 12 a.m. later.. :(

Well well.. thanks to all my cute close buddies who are heering up and making my days more meaningful than usual.. teehee.. parents were asking what I want for my birthday.. was thinking wheher to get the big dolphin which only costs rm 21.90 nia.. >< (as big as my upper part body.. hehe.. )

C'mon!! I got to smile for myself and for everybody who loves me.. I want them to see me happy then they wouldn't be worry.. Tomorrow I wanna smile.. I know hubby want me to laugh.. hehe..

Raining now.. Hopefully tomorrow won't rain ler.. hehe.. I love everyone in my life!!! Especially those who always stand by my side whenever I need you guys.. *MUACKSSSS*

Happiest day ever~

2011-04-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

I had a blast with my dear sister today the Spring.. Watch "Red Riding Hood" after sports day and enjoying Secret Recipe's oreo cheese cake and and and.. Starbucks Green Tea frapuccino!!! And it's half price!! Teehee~ Luxurious indulgence today..

Hmm.. Today is my school sports day.. Glad that Kaen cheered for me today but she hardly see me run.. Cause after I ran, she always told me that she didn't manage to see on the track.. hahaha.. Got 100 plus in school.. I manage to go into the final but I still get last.. haha.. I'm really not an athelete eh.. hehehe..

Next next, my lunch is provided by my sports house so lunch time went to Hock Lee with karen and kevin.. Shop and drool around looking at clothes and accessories.. hehe.. I wanna buy a new wallet liao.. Cause Karen has been complaining my fat wallet.. >< hiak hiak hiak..

Chat with hubby during lunch time and I felt so happy.. Being able to listen to his voice always delights me.. hehe.. But throughout the day, I still miss him a lot.. :)

Tomorrrow one more day to go.. hmm.. think tmr should be able to finish early gua.. hehe.. I still have 4 x 100m to go.. kinda sad I got cough lately.. :( I dun wnat to be sick..

After all, I really enjoyed myself today.. hehe.. Though i didn't manage to get a medal, I'm still very happy that I had such a nice day today.. ^^ Thank you, Lord!! Love ya~ Lastly, here's a big thanks to Karen.. :) I felt touched today by all the fun we had together.. hehe..

A patient..

2011-04-26T02:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick.. :( tomorrow is sports day and I'm sick at this very moment.. Sick sick sick.. So disappointed to cancel my jogging wiht karen due to raining.. or was it God's plan to advice me to rest more rather than being active? LOL..

There are so many things I want to say but I dunno how to express somehow.. hmm.. Last night din get to chat with hubby cause he need to rush his projects.. But we manage to send each other voice mail.. My voice sounds so different after recorded! I'm so scared that he can't recognised that it's my voice.. haha.. :D after suffering for a night tonight I must chat with hime ler.. I don't care! ><

What else hor? May is coming soon.. >< I'm always looking forward to May cause I always wondering whether will there be anyone out there who care for me enough to give me surprise.. Like a kid :)doesn't matter they are friends or family or hubby.. But I guess somehow no gua.. Sometimes I admire my friends who are so welcomed by others that their presents are always so interesting.. haha.. and.. I don't know.. I always feel like I'm forgotten by everyone.. Seeing all my friends always have fun together makes me feel quite left out de.. Maybe that's the reason that I always stick to him cause I know he would always there for me:) maybe lar..

I better learn not to have too much hope in getting a surprise this year.. I just hope that I don't have to quarrel with anybody this year on my birthday. It's the only day I wanna be truly happy and treat myself good on 365 days a year.. Grant me that wish k, angel? ;)

TENSION!

2011-04-24T01:45:00.000-07:00

I'm so tense lately.. :( help! My hand constantly shaking with no reason.. can't write properly anymore.. :(

I dunno why I'm so kiasu lately that I wanna study hard to get no.1 in this coming exam.. T.T I wish I can't relax a while..

Maybe.. I thoguht it would be a good motivation.. Yea.. I like it cause I'm worried and I'll study.. but it's driving me a little bit too over because I'm stressed.. LOL!

My birthday coming soon.. wonder what I'll get this year.. haha.. hopefully it'd be a sweet 19 birthday this year.. ^^

A Sunday..

2011-04-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

I got a new phone today.. Nokia X3.. cost me RM365 after I trade in my old phone and two old phones.. :)

Last night I got into a huge quarrel with my mum.. cry for the whole night and wake up with swollen eyes.. That wasn't a nice thing.. I won't go into details cause it causes me heartache to fight with my closest family.. Same goes with friends..

I don't know what Ern wants.. I cannot figure out what was she thinking.. She was just giving me excuse that she won't find me just because she doesn't want to distub me and hubby.. It's not like that at all.. I'm disappointed.. How could she not understand why does she have such an ignorant temper without trying to understand my situation? Both friends and hubby are important.. How do i choose?

I went out with old classmates last night and it was fun.. :) Sadly I can't join the movie and the karaoke.. Went home after sending hubby home.. I wonder if I call up Ern, will she pick up my phone and have a small chat? Not worth losing a best friend like that.. Not at all..

April smile..

2011-04-08T05:04:00.000-07:00

I had a fight with my choldhood best friend, Ern lately.. Just because of the matter of bringing hubby along for swimming.. Wasn't happy at all.. Fianlly exam is over, and I guess my ekonomi's result is going to be bad.. cause it's quite hard de.. either that or I didn't study well enough.. :)

I hope tomorrow is going to be a good day.. ^^ and I can't wait to see my hubby tomorrow.. :) miss him miss him miss himm.. :')

A random drop-by..

2011-03-19T22:38:00.000-07:00

People who read my blog probably just wanna "kepo-kepo" my personal life or thoughts, or so I thought.. Well, my blog super plain whcih I haven't change the background and layout for a century, sarcastically.. Others are so pretty and interesting.. haha..

Well, tomorrow will be back to school and I DON'T LIKE IT!!! *you hear me? !@#$%^&* means there'll be lots of exams and quizzes and homeworks and assignments and endless of meditation on our STPM till December arrives.. well, what to do as a candidate for STPM this year? Afterall, after I finish my final exam, I can do anything I want.. *earning big bucks* muahahaha..

Sometimes you think you can do things that you like without considering people how people would think about you, although that's your choice and that's your life, but you got to know that your reputation will be spoilt if you did not handle your doings with care.. *I saw something happened out there which is not beyond my control so I comment*

My wisdom tooth is torturing me by the way. Drives me insane. Enough. I'm happy that I still get to go out on Saturday with hubby before school reopens. Glad that He can be my source of strength whenever I'm weak.. :)

There goes a smile on my face..

2011-03-18T01:48:00.000-07:00

Lately my life is peaceful and quiet.. Not sure whether it's a good thing or not though.. Everyday surfing facebook to see whether i have notifications or not.. A kind of feeling to wish someone out there to notice me.. lol..

Wishing that something special would happen each day drives me looking forward for each brand new day.. I'm just a normal girl living perfectly in a normal world.. No ups and downs except challenges that comes from within myself.. :)

Sometimes I admired people and friends around me that they got so many interesting things happening in their life.. :) I admire people being successful in whatever they want to do.. And they always seems to go in such a perfect flaw.. :)

It was just a normal day for me today.. :) 2 more days and I'm heading back to school life again.. So.. Was I not good enough or I did a lot of mistakes that makes me have no friends? Or was I hard to be understood or was it my temper? I wonder why.. But I guess God creates everybody to be special.. ;) So am I right?

Hey hai.. ^^

2011-03-17T02:05:00.000-07:00

Today was quite tiring.. :) have been spending my goliday at MBKS library studying and doing homework.. :) I'm satisfied though.. At least I know I'm not doing nothing.. hehe..

Today is an usual Thursday.. But happy that I can spend half an hour with hubby.. Seeing me hungry and weak, he offered to chia me eat wedges and ice-cream.. *thankiew, honey!* actually I skipped lunch today.. so yea.. padan muka that I'm weak.. hahaha..

I hope I got the permission to go for movie with hubby this Saturday before school reopen next Monday.. Time flies and my holiday left 3 more days only.. Haha.. March gonna end soon, without realising.. April coming soon and it means STPM is getting nearer.. I really wanna get 4 flat if can.. :) I wanna get the laptop that my Dad has been promising me.. There are so many things tyhat I want.. Greedy eh? ;)

Blog, for you..

2011-03-11T20:06:00.000-08:00

I guess blogging can allows anyone to spill on anything that a blogger wants to say.. Especially even when others can't seem to understand or things we can't manage to express, typing them out is a way of relief.. It somehow felt like a burden is lifted up.. :)

Just today I found out about Fabian has his own blog.. A bit unbelievable.. And I haven't been exploring Felicia's blog for quite a long time.. Still surprise that she has the heart to continue blogging.. :)

Life seems to get busier.. Upper Six life is not easy to handle at all.. Art side needs a lot of memorising and certain intelligence to score well.. Our sweet and lovely teachers had given us tons of homework, demanding us to finish all of them.. Coloccium (was it spelled like this?) starts in April and R&D project has to be handed in on 25th March.. This week holiday I'm gonna spend them in a library.. with my brother tagging along too..

I wish this year would end faster.. Headache keep on haunting me all the time.. :) Tonight will be going for barbecue.. Hubby's surprise birthday celebration from his close friends.. Might get some sleep soon.. ;)

A Sunday here.

2011-02-19T17:18:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will be having my first exam in 2011.. I have a mustard seed of faith.. I pray that God will strengthen me to have more faith in Him.. :)

Today started off with crying, when I wanna followed my prents to have breakfast, I was a bit late ler and they got mad at me.. So I cried because I can't follow.. Cause later I"m gonna pick my cousin up and will be going to church together..

I miss hubby a lot.. Apart from God, hubby is my source opf strength.. But I have to wait for 3 more weeks before I can see him.. Somehow that's torturous for me.. :'(
I miss hubby..

So back to school..

2011-01-25T23:51:00.000-08:00

Well, drop by to kiss my blog a while.. >.< which means to drop some stories of my daily life.. I decided not to change my blog or shut this blog down liao.. Pity this blog.. hehe..

Back to school is so good.. 2 more days and I'm off for Chinese New Year holidays liao!! My brother teased me that I've already enjoyed 19 years of Chinese New Year dy, but I still claimed that they are not enough!!! haha.. Finish all the new year shopping dy, except for the little touch up at home.. :)

I enjoy my life well lately.. I'm so so so thankful that my face is so healthy lately.. Maybe because I ate things that are not oily and I'm picky about things I ate.. Like I want oil-free on my food.. So there goes my pretty skin.. ^^

Then, I finally got back to my old class liao.. I feel so motivated to study hard again.. Hey! What spell has that class cast on me to study hard yea?? haha.. And lately I think I'm quite badly polluted.. Cause I learn a lot of things I shouldn't learn.. I hope I don't turn up as a bad girl.. hahaha..

Need to scratch my head for ideas to decorate St. Jogn noticeboard liao.. The thing is I've run out of idea liao.. sob sob.. Oh well, deadline is on 11 February.. sob sob..

Lastly not forgetting about my lovely hubby.. I miss him badly.. He's gonna have his exam coming soon on this weekend.. So.. GOOD LUCK, honey!! hahaha.. I know he can do well.. ^^

The story continues..

2011-01-24T05:41:00.000-08:00

I'm surprised when my childhood close friend message me today to ask how am i today and advicing me not to get addicted to facebook anymore.. Ya.. true enough cause I'm really addicted to the games.. lols..

I got food poisoning this weekend and I didn't attend school today.. Kinda miss school a lot.. So I spend my day resting at grnadma house, do some stuff and homework at night.. Tomorrow will have my activity going on.. :)

Luckily today not much homework.. hehe.. Yeah! Chinese new year coming soon! I baked my cookies already and quite successful de.. haha.. My body quite drained out lately due to vomitting ang excessive diarrheoa.. Thank God they are over now.. hehe..

Anyway, got to type my letter dy.. I can't wait to see my hubby soon!! >.< whee~~!! haha.. that's all for now.. hopefully I can update my life as soon as possible.. ^^

A sad starting..

2011-01-18T03:48:00.000-08:00

This year begin its story with quite pathetic stories going on and on.. hubby and I got our first fight on 00.00 a.m. first day of January 2011.. Lol.. it's just a small fight cause he left me alone during the new year eve barbecue.. Silly reason o fight eh? haha.. Hmm.. First week started off ok.. So does second week.. But mummy got sick on last thursday.. She can't discharge urine and have to rely on retubation, which means she always has a urination bag with her all the time..

Seeing my mum in and out from the hospital makes me heartache so much.. Looking at mum carrying her urination bag makes me feel how painful she suffer from that particular sickness.. Taking medicine non-stop with different antibiotics can really sense how much she dislike it..

And.. I lose my motivation to work hard.. Like losing the mood to study and doing revision and now I'm back to facebook addiction.. Tha's not a good thing at all.. Saying that chinese new year mood is around also not a good excuse.. Doesn't mean you have to put off your studies so soon right?? Lol..

Can;t type anymnore.. My uncle is here to repair computer.. Go off now.. :)

A day near the end of the year..

2010-12-28T00:43:00.000-08:00

So.. Today is a Tuesday..Went to school yesterday and today to work at kopearasi. I went to my workplace gathering at KFC. Bought wedges for mummy and daddy. :) Sunday brought hubby to church and after that went to the Spring to watch Gulliver's Travel with him and Sharon and Ronald.. :)there goes what happened around this weekend..

Tomorrow will be going back to work ler.. Last few days before I say goodbye to my dearest Trinity Bookroom and headed to a new year 2011 and back to school.. Haven't completed a lot of homework.. :S Don't feel like going back to school at all.. I don't want to face my STPM.. I feel like escaping.. I wanna go somewhere else to live.. I don't want to face exams anymore ler.. :( Can I?

I really don't know why am I moody lately.. especially these few days.. AND especially today.. :(I had no idea at all.. I mad at my hubby that he spent more time to play game than to pei me.. I mad at him for not accepting me in the facebook request about our realtionship status.. :( All because that I'm small gas right? *Big Sigh* I wish he could spend more time with me to chat.. I dunno why.. I just felt unsafe without him at my side.. This is how much I have rely him all these while.. This is so torturing..

I really don't know how to go on for next year.. Every year end gives me a huge emotional turmoil.. I wish I had finished school now.. And get to chase my dreams.. I cried every night to sleep while talking on the phone with hubby.. I guess it's really anoying to hear people cry every night.. I told him all the time that I want to be alone but actually I wish he could just hug me tight in his arms and tell me everything's gonna be all right and everything's gonna turn out like what we want.. I need that so much.. I'm so timid and weak.. Everyone turns out to be so brave to welcome anything that's coming in their life but not me.. I'm so scared to accept and to lose at the same time.. I don't like changes.. That's me.. *sigh sigh sigh*

I babble a lot.. But this is the only place I can spilled out everything to the world.. My little cosy bloggie world.. :) I switched off my phone till tonight.. Cause don't feel like hearing from my hubby.. Sigh.. What am I supposed to do now? I feel so lonely.. Sigh.. I don't want my 2010 end up just like that eh.. T.T sob sob sob..

Bitterguard emotions

2010-12-18T04:55:00.000-08:00

You know why it's called bitterguard emotions for my post today.. Cause I had a bad feeling and I really feel bitter.. Sadly to say that..

You know, it's been torturing me for a whole year.. This thought.. This insane unbelievable outrageous crazy abnormal whatsoever adjective that can describe this awfulness of thought.. It's been stucking in my head for almost 365 days liao..
T.T I feel like crying.. seriously.. I really wanna cry.. I think I'm crazy.. T.T

I open a new facebook account ler.. I had a new email address.. I have a dream that I wish to have my own shop when I grow up.. I want to open a gift shop and sell a lot of stuffs.. I wanna reach the stars which I have always wanted to reach..

I wish hubby is here.. I wish hubby is here at my side.. Cause I need his hug hug so that I will feel safe.. I miss him badly.. :( I wanna be with my hubby forever.. Is that permissible?? Can we get married earlier?? I can't live without him.. :( I felt insecure when I"m alone.. I felt scared.. :( when will this feeling go away?? :( this is so awful and so so.. BITTER.. :(

Holiday life..

2010-12-17T04:52:00.000-08:00

Hi hi.. I'm back again, bloggie.. hehe.. Here's come my story-telling time about my holiday life..

Basically it's all about busy working.. hehe.. Latest news about me would be learning beading with my colleagues.. We had this beading class at One Jaya there.. And each lesson costs RM30.. I spent RM50 to buy the tools.. I borrow RM100 from my mummy dearest to pay for all this.. Lols.. I dunno how I spend my RM200 which I had just withdrawn not long ago.. Scary eh.. lols.. I'm such a spendthrift..

Hmm.. my sweet lovely hubby had gone to KL for family trip.. Miss him so badly.. My working place is currently having sale now.. And David has resigned to study pastorial in Sibu.. :) Caught a headache today.. Sob sob..

Oh ya.. Hubby promised that he is going to church with me for Christmas service on 26th December~!!! hehe.. hopefully God cares enough to answer my prayer.. I wanna be a soul winner for God.. and bring hubby to Christ.. ^^ hehe.. Lord Lord, may thy will be done.. ^^

Hmm.. Next year gonna resign my ISCF and Badminton club.. probably Karen and Kevin are going to kill me.. Sigh.. But I was left with no choice.. I need time to catch up my homework and I am a slow learner.. :( Sadly to say that I haven't touch much of my homework during the holiday.. :( Letters will be given to teacher once school reopen.. Sigh sigh.. I'm running out of time!!!!

Lord.. I'm here!! Woohoo~!! By the way, I deactivate my facebook account dy.. Plan to get myself a new email address.. ^^

A day in December

2010-12-07T18:04:00.000-08:00

Today was blessed because I got an off day.. Which means I can stay at home relaxed a bit and can do my homework. I haven't start doing it yet for today though. So Long no blogging. Dunno why suddenly feel sleepy in front of computer here.

I woke up quite early this morning.. Ate breakfast, read newspapers and then take a shower. Then headed downstairs to use computer. Recently nothing much happened though. Yesterday was a public holiday. A lot of customers. Last friday meet up with old friends and spend a lot of fun time together. Had a lot of happy moments.

Can't wait for this coming Sunday though. Can meet up with my hubby ler. I bought some new year clothes last Saturday and it cost me RM70. Pretty expensive. But the cost for all things are raised up nowadays. So what to do??

Earning for a living. Not sure whether paying for my own clothing is the right decision is the right one or not.. But.. note to self: no regrets, sweetie.

All right. Enough for my craps and rubbish spilled for today. Till then.

I'm Miss Lonely..

2010-11-16T05:12:00.000-08:00

Lonely~ I'm Miss Lonely~ I am nobody~ I"m on my own~ Lols.. really lonely now.. :(

Today is the last day of my Lower Six 2010. We had spring cleaning today and went back at 9.. I miss him terribly.. Can i cry??

He's busy with nhis assignment lately so we hardly got time to chat.. :( sob sob.. today went shopping with sharon and karen at One Jaya. Almost rain but luckily in the end no rain. So we get to swim in the afternoon.. :) However, it wasn't a happy day for me though.. Not as good as I thought.. I got mixed feelings now and feel like going to a corner and cry.. I haven't got a teddy bear yet.. :(

I'm lonely today and I feel like a bulb among my friends.. I'm the only odd one out without my hubby beside me.. :( Miss him badly.. I wonder tonight what time can we chat.. Though tomorrow is a holiday, I"m not looking forward to it at all..

Sad sad amy.. What should I do to make myself happy o? Chocolate? I guess only my hubby can meke me smile.. :( I'm so darn lonely..

Missing pieces..

2010-11-15T04:33:00.000-08:00

Life is made up of puzzles.. Do you agree that? My dear sis pester me to update my blog few moments ago.. So that's why I'm here again to update about my life.. haha..

I miss my blog.. But lately I guess I've cultivating the habits of telling my life stories to my hubby.. So din really have the heart to put it up again in my blog.. haha.. hmm.. Life goes on as well.. Like usual..

Today is Monday.. We had the Excellence Award Ceremony in school.. Helped at the backstage with the prize giving.. Then we went out to have meal at Hartz Chicken... Was super duper full and still forced to eat dinner.. I think I can puasa tomorrow the whole day ler.. haha.. Luckily tomorrow I'm going swimming with my sisters.. Burn all the calories and fat accumulated in my body.. haha..

I got tons of holiday homework, projects and assignments to finish off.. haha.. But.. I'm working during the holiday.. earning money is not easy at all.. It makes me appreciate more on what I bought.. that's a good thing though.. Then I wun simply waste stuff.. hahaha.. Hmm.. Bought one black semi-dress which cost me RM75.. There's one eggy out there who claims that she has a nice taste and choose such a pretty dress for me.. hahaha.. So.. I'm going to match it with a colourful long necklace, white heels and red leggings.. I think I'll look hot.. haha..

Hmm.. This year gonna aim for dresses, jeans and coat.. haha.. It's time to change my style liao.. hehe.. Plan to cut my hair short.. Then perm my hair after STPM.. haha.. Dunno why today so high.. Keep laughing and singing.. lols..

Today I made a very cute hair scrunchy.. I'm so proud of myself that I'm so talented... *yeah right* haha.. I'm still considering should I sell it off or not.. Make some money also can.. hehe.. I'm so indulged with craftswork lately.. haha.. Hopefull I won't get too addicted till neglect my holiday work.. haha..

Something unhappy happened today also..We're so so innocent today.. Our zone "special" that nobody else sweep the zone except our class.. Our block is locked.. How does he expect us to go to our class and get broom to sweep? So.. Innocently.. We got demerits again.. lols..

Right now.. I miss him badly.. Almost a month not seeing him ler.. T.T can't wait for wednesday.. *muacks* lately he's my big big baby.. haha.. so cute and so adorable.. I wish I got time o hug him tight tight de.. haha.. MY darling teddy bear.. >.< sigh.. I miss him I miss him I miss him.. T.T

Can't wait for Christmas though.. teehee~

yawning

2010-09-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Haha.. Today was another usual day for Princess Amy.. haha.. (please let me feel a bit vain about myself for once in a while.. >.<) haha.. muacks..

Well, it's so good to be back in God's arms!!! woohoo~~~!!! haha.. Have a close relationship with God lately.. Raya break is fun for me and at the same time tiring but.. Meaningful!! hehe.. School reopen soon.. So reluctant to go back to shcool.. >.< My Lower Six left one and a half month liao.. Fast eh?? haha.. SO excited..

Hmm.. I've been working part time during this raya break.. earning some pocket money to make myself a new pair of glasses.. hehe.. with my dear cousin.. ^^ My phone spoilt liao.. My heart itchy itchy wanna change new one but hubby want change together with me so have to wait for him.. hahaha.. >.< oh gosh.. having period lately.. it's exhausting though.. but with God, I shall rejoice and not complain!!! hehe..

See this Princess so hyper de.. haha.. well.. *yawning* I wanna enjoy some more gok before my next year arrive.. My deadly year which decides my future.. teehee~~

Whatever turmoil..

2010-09-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

Sigh.. Holiday is here.. But still.. Everyday seems dragging and I don't have the mood to enjoy.. Can't seem to have the holiday mood I used to long for when I was young.. :) I Basically spent my holiday earning money by doing part-time job.. :) I find myself hard to laugh.. but can smile only.. Well, only me can define that smile is a fake one.. Just.. you know.. Don't want anyone else to worry.. :) Except God.. He knows what my heart is thinking.. And only Him, can know what's wrong with me.. :)

Raya is coming.. :) This afternoon I'm going to work again.. Almost these days I didn't really study.. Don't know how to face my exam this year end though.. This holiday seems so packed.. Sigh.. Busy with St. John and my part-time job.. And also my studies of course.. :)

Lately I've been working till very late.. Sleep till 7 or 8 something the next day.. Sometimes I get to catch up with hubby before he went to college.. Other time, I'll blog or eat or study or cook.. :) Mum need to attend her seminar so I'm the one taking over her responsibilities at home.. :)

Life as usual, as I have always said to anyone who asked me.. :) I need to figure out what's wrong with me and what's that little thing bugging my soul and my heart that makes me have serious emotional turmoil.. Lols..

Lately have been going to a camp with my two besties.. And had a fun St. John Night with the rest of the committees.. :) those still manage to put a sincere smile on my face.. But.. now i need to figure out, again, how to put that sincere smile back on my face again.. :)

The Silent Bell

2010-08-15T04:18:00.000-07:00

Today is a Sunday.. However.. It was not a happy day as it turns out.. I'm feeling stressed out, alone, sad and all the negative feelings I had now.. Aiks.. Tears almost dropping now..

I went to church this morning with Andrea.. But my heart wasn't there in God's temple. I was, however, in my heart praying that the service would end earlier. What is this lousy attitude I have today? Aren't I suppose to rejoice and be happy while having fellowship on Sunday with others? What's wrong with my heart?

Looking at the picture of me and him and receive a sudden msg from him makes me really cry.. I was really frustrated whenever he replied late, thinking that he might no heart to chat anymore.. And whenever he's doing something else he doesn't like to let me know.. Just because he scared I'd be upset. *sigh* Everything seems wrong today and I felt so lost now.. I need God. Urgent. I really stray away from God a lot ler..

Everything seems so silent whenever I'm alone.. Till it really creeps into the bone that made me shivered. It's like a bell not functioning in the virtual reality of mine. Creepy. I did asked myself all the time. That what is the thing that made me change so much when facing all the things around me.. It's like I'm losing passion for life, God, friends, love, family and everything I do that once I used to really love enjoying to do so.. *sigh* What is that thing that dragged me to feel like this? How come I seem that I don't have any choices to be happy other than to be sad? Why? Why is it so hard to let me get up again after being beaten down? Why?

My Recent Life..

2010-08-03T06:29:00.000-07:00

My first anniversary with my lovely hubby had just passed.. ^^ really really happy.. We went to Kuching Fest to celebrate it.. And he was being a very top gentleman by chia-ing me to eat and play that Sunday night.. *muackss* and he was being a bit silly to play to game and insisted to get a soft toy for me.. hehe.. >.< but I end up got a yellow Hamtaro.. Gosh.. Like it so much.. so cute and it's a gift from hubby.. T.T

We spend most of the time together in the garden on that Sunday night though.. We plan to watch fireworks but it didn't turn up until 10.. But both of us went home at 9.. a bit sad sad.. He was having flu yesterday.. Xin teng xin teng.. T.T

Hmm.. August is here.. Means lotsa things will be going on too.. Last Saturday we're asked to wear traditional clothes to school.. So wore my baju kurung.. Lols.. Cause me a lot of incovenience though.. And this coming Saturday is our school jogathon.. At night will be our choir performance for OTA dinner.. Hmm.. What else.. Lotsa homework recently.. Rush till wanna pengsan ler.. haha.. This coming thursday is Economy test and Friday is Maths test.. Thursday morning need to ponteng class for the morning to practise choir.. sob sob..

I'm quite broke now with my RM20 pocket money left now.. haha.. But trust God.. God will provide.. ^^ I'm the creative ministry team in ISCF now.. so happy.. Cause din hold huge post anymore.. hehe.. senang a bit.. >.<

Tonight can't wait for hubby ler.. need to rest earlier cause tomorrow got driving lesson.. Nights, bloggie.. ^^

Feeling-less

2010-07-23T19:56:00.001-07:00

Today is such a beautiful Saturday morning.. July has almost come to an end ler.. Time flies, that's for sure.. Right now.. I'm sitting in front of my dear bloggie missing someone.. Miss him badly..

I got St. John today.. Was elected as Publicity.. I have Alex and Jing Yee to be my helpers.. Our new committee was in a mess because we're quite lost and dunno what to do.. We have First Aid duty on Jogathon day.. Latest project is appreciation dinner for the Upper Six members.. on 28th August.. Sigh.. Feels so emotionless right now..

I didn't went for Badminton Club noticeboard decoration yesterday.. Din see Sharika and Brian around.. Din know where are they and I'm also in a rush to go home with Yu Huan.. Lols.. Tiring.. Afternoon got driving lesson..

Next week is my first anniversary with hubby ler.. Very happy.. and also looking forward to celebrate it together.. =) I realised no matter how stubborn, naughty he is, I love him like mad.. Really a lady in love huh? haha..

Life's Here..

2010-07-03T04:22:00.000-07:00

Today was just another of my usual weekend.. A Saturday.. Hehe.. Was really happy yesterday cause I managed to change to art side from science side.. I was so nutty and excited all the way when I know that I got transfered.. But.. I started to miss my class mates liao.. Miss Karen, Yu huan, Alex and Kaiwee.. Haha.. It's odd not to have Alex in my class to "sour" him all the time though.. haha.. Hmm.. I need to pay my Economy teacher hundred over ringgit to but the Economy text books and workbooks.. I took Commerceand Maths S too.. My new class is air-conditioned de..
haha.. So lucky.. I got to choose the class I wanna go to and I manged to enter L6A3.. hehe.. Happy happy..

Today Saturday I managed to learn driving too.. Today my driving skills have improve lu.. hehe.. Met a new friend from Green Road, Ivy Liew.. hehe.. Yesterday went back to Kuching High to visit ISCF and teachers.. and later had lunch with Karen at Hills.. Hehe.. I was fun though.. We couldn't finish the food and da bao the ais kacang home.. haha.. and then afternoon we stayed back for Badminton till 3.30 p.m.

This weekend is basically rushing and completing my homework.. haha.. Hmm.. Tomorrow is a sunday.. So happy that I got the pass to go to church with Andrea tomorrow.. Yeah~ Praise the Lord.. hehe.. God has blessed me these few days.. And big thanks to my Aunt Grace that she helped me to transfer to art side by pestering the education department staffs.. hehe..

Is there a way out to reach my dreams?

2010-06-29T00:34:00.002-07:00

Sigh.. Today went to the education department to find out my appeal result.. But it turned out that they haven't got a meeting about it.. And latest I'll only know it on Friday.. This thing keeps dragging.. Feel so frustrated already ler..

Then I talked to my mum what if I don't get to transfer.. I wish I can go to college to take Early Chldhood Education programme.. But mum was like not approve saying that our family can't afford to let me go college and so on.. And giving excuses that just shattered my heart.. I can always get a loan right? With my 8As I'm sure I'll have some loan approved for me.. I wish I can go Segi.. or Unitar.. Either one.. Sigh..

Before that, I wanna take up design.. But parents keep saying that it wasn't a good course and afraid that I'll end up jobless after graduating.. Now I change my mind to take up ECE.. And they're making up excuses not to let me pursue my course.. What do they want then?? It's my future.. Doesn't I have the right to make a choice for myself?? Or they really want me stucked in Science side izit? Don't they see my science subjects sucks so badly? So they're going to push me in again to let me "die" in science side huh?

You know what my mum said when I asked her what if my appeal isn't approved? She said: Continue to stay in Science side then.. *sigh sigh sigh* - badly disappointed..

Lately..

2010-06-26T17:02:00.000-07:00

Was I having depression? Sigh.. Every little things make me cry.. For this week.. I practically cry myself to sleep every night.. Other than missing him, I just have lots of things to worry about.. I just couldn't get through.. Sigh..

Now is early in the morning.. I got up from my bad decided to do my project.. Then I wanna make sure whether I'm having depression or not.. So I surfed the internet to see and confirm with it.. And I found this:

Signs and symptoms of depression in teens

It's hard to put into words how depression feels, and people experience it differently. There are, however, some common problems and symptoms that teens with depression experience.

You constantly feel irritable, sad, or angry.
Nothing seems fun anymore, and you just don’t see the point of trying.
You feel bad about yourself—worthless, guilty, or just "wrong" in some way
You sleep too much or not enough.
You have frequent, unexplained headaches or other physical problems.
Anything and everything makes you cry.
You’ve gained or lost weight without consciously trying to.
You just can’t concentrate. Your grades may be plummeting because of it.
You feel helpless and hopeless .
You’re thinking about death or suicide. (If this is true, talk to someone right away!)

(http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm)
Lols.. Almost all of them fit me.. Except two statements... No. 5 and No.7

Sigh.. What should I do? Mum changed her mind lately and dun really allow me to follow Andrea to go to church as she sees that my schedule is getting busier and busier.. What should I do? I told him last night about maybe I'm having depression but he said just don't think too much.. How could I not? I felt like crying again now.. Though my eyes still feel pain after crying last night.. Sigh..

A Moody Day to Have + Saying Thank You to You..

2010-06-21T01:44:00.000-07:00

I have serious Monday blue today.. Have one thousand unwillingness to go back to school today.. So since morning I wasn't smiling at all.. Hardly smile..

Then today I received a shocking news from my Form Teacher today.. My appeal to Art Side was rejected by the Education Department.. Was really sad.. When I heard it I was so "extreme" that I shout in clas.. Lols.. very embarassing.. But at that moment I couldn't hold it any longer.. I need to express them out.. My heart was crying but I was holding back my tears until i reached home.. Today Chemistry Quiz sucks... Only know how to do some.. My class has 4 new students.. Was given quite a lot of homework too.. Sigh.. But no heart to touch a bit.. Plan to save it for tonight..

Last night didn't really slept well.. Woke up at 1 a.m. sth and msg him.. Suddenly feel so stressed out about my own life now and feeling lost also.. We messaged each other till almost 2 and he rock me to sleep.. Every night I wish I could hug him for real to go to sleep... He is very nice to hug.. Sigh.. Feel safe and comfortable in his strong arms.. I'm thankful for my guy to be there to comfort me and let me see what I've been missing out.. He taught me how to make life choices and always been patient with me whenever I feel frustrated...

Hubby.. Here's a sincere THANK YOU to you.. And I know you don't have the interest to read my blog and almost never read my blog de.. Just wanna say how much joy you bring to me and thank you for every little thing you did to cheer me up whenever I sad.. and most importantly, HUBBY.. WO AI NI.. =)

Just an ordinary day~

2010-06-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. today nothing much happened.. Do homework for the morning and acccompany my mummy to go bank and buy bak zhang..Now I'm recalling back about what did I do.. I suddenly thought of the a cute bag which cost RM9.90 that I was procrastinating whether should buy or not buy.. It's cute and has two side pockets.. I live it because it's easy to match with any outfits I wear.. And it's waterproof.. I'm so tempted to buy it you know!! >.< but of course.. End up I din buy.. haha..

Last night was keeping in touch with my friends.. I miss my dear Umy.. hehe.. My malay sister.. And we talked a lot about lifes and I also smsed till my hand very tired.. haha.. Later Karen will be coming over and will go swimming together later.. She said she wanna swim her worries away.. Which is a good thing.. hehe.. A very healthy way.. haha.. I wanna lose weight.. But he wanna gain weight.. haha.. Cute leh..

Hmm.. Later my lunch will be pisang goreng.. Mummy cooking now.. I'm lucky I still can online now because last night Mum forbids me and my brother to online.. haha.. I'm so blessed!! whee~ I miss Lord too..

Casual day..

2010-06-09T01:33:00.000-07:00

Today went to sit for law test.. Pass with flying colours with 46/50.. hehe.. Big smile on my face when I kew the result.. Yeah!! Hmm.. But today a bit sad sad de.. His credit finished up and he only managed to send me a message when he woke up then called me using his house phone and told me his credit finished ler.. So till now we both didn't chat at all.. Sigh..

I wish to send him credit but he already told me last time that he'll get angry if I send him.. Actually he can use talktime advance de.. Dunno why he doesn't want.. I was wondering.. Did he miss me? or he likes the life without me to chat with.. Or enjoying the life without my disturbance.. Is he thinking that way? I find it hard to have complete trust towards our relationship after our breakup last month.. Sigh.. Though these few days he did changed a bit and become sweet and tender to me.. Like last night I was having a hard time dealing with my law, he was there to accompany me till I fall asleep.. Really thankful for every little moment he treat me well.. Maybe I was afraid of losing him again.. Afraid to face my own world without him at my side.. Having him to be with me gives me courage to continue to walk on, to know that there's somebody out there to encourage me and be there for me no matter what happens.. But.. I dunno is he thinking the same way too or not.. I used to be negative-minded.. It is he who changed me to always look at the bright side..

Sigh.. A casual day with nothing much.. Chat with Karen online and play some facebook games.. That's all.. Maybe will help mommy wash car later.. Will he go to buy credit to chat with me today? Will this Prince Charming continue to be my Prince Charming in few years time too? Sigh.. Why am I so down suddenly de?? Hmm..

I have a BIG smile with me~

2010-06-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

Hehe.. I had the best night ever wth my friends last night!! First, we had dinner at Jalan Song western restaurant.. Friends and Family.. We cam-whore and took a lot of pictures and have fun!! Haha.. then we went to Spring K box and sang karaoke..It was very very fun and we are very crazy!! Haha.. Reading my blog and counting how many "haha" I typed reflects how happy and how much fun we had ler.. hehe..

I went to listen to driving liscense law already.. Will be sitting for the test tomorrow liao.. which is a Wednesday.. I'm so lucky enough to have my cousin at there too.. I didn't know she went to listen till on that day.. hehe.. Next week my driving practical might start ler.. So excited and yet so nervous.. hehe..

I wanna watch karate kid.. love the karate and kung fun by Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith.. hehe.. But most probably will go watch the 3D Toy Story 3 with him.. If got chance I wanna watch Karate Kid with my buddies.. hehe.. I miss him.. Love sick here.. Dunno when can we meet.. Sigh..

This holiday has been an interesting one cause my whole family just went to Permai last Saturday and it was superb fun!! I played kayak for the first time!! And swim for the whole morning at the sea having enough taste of the sea water.. haha.. Guess what?? I saw him there too.. He was at his car there when I come down from the car.. He was preparing to go home.. We're so paiseh to see each other as our family are around.. So we only manage to say hi.. The night before we talked to each other and just found out that we're going to permai at the same time.. Was so thrilled about it and had plan to spend a little time together if we managed to meet at the beach later.. But too bad it was different from what we plan.. =) *sigh sigh sigh*

Nevermind.. I believe there's one day we can meet again de.. sure will de.. hehe.. I miss him alot.. After having fun last night I also miss my friends liao.. Sob sob..

Boredom + Fun?

2010-06-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

Itchy itchy.. The contact lens inside my eyes are tickling me.. Can't help to rub my eyes.. Which the optometrist said I shouldn't rub at all.. haha..

Today went for a road trip to permai and santubong.. Went to pasir panjang beach and travel till afternoon.. Then at night went to 7th mile eat dinner.. Eat kolok mee nia lar.. But very yummy.. hehe.. My brother wanna rebut computer with me liao.. Can say much.. T.T I'll just stop here then..

A day..

2010-06-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today is Hari Gawai for the Ibans and Dayaks.. Our whole family went up to Sebuyao, ?Simunjan and Semangan.. The outskirt and the coastal area of Sarawak.. It was a fun day.. We reached home at around 6.. Had maggi mee as our dinner.. lols..

Hmm.. Nothing much today.. Maybe on thursday I'm going to have my cervical cancer injection.. And maybe this coming Saturday I'm going to listen to law.. Hopefully can go together with Karen. Hehe.. Hmm.. I haven manage to plan a date yet.. Can't wait to go out with him to watch movie.. I miss out the chances watching movie with my friends... You know what really upset me or not?? My friends and him already finished watching prince of persia ler.. And I haven't watched yet.. T.T I felt so damn left out de.. When he told me he watched it with his friends, I really cry till my whole pillow wet wet.. Nobody wants to accompany me to go watch ler.. All already watch ler.. :'(

Sigh.. This week wasn't really a happy week for me at all.. But at least my conflicts with parents already solved.. Sigh.. Why am I so small gas lately?? Suddenly had a thoought of being absent on 7th June dinner... Sigh.. Since I miss out so much of the activities ler.. might as well absent for the whole thing.. I really had a thought of rather being locked at home than going out with him or friends.. It's like people are talking about these stuff and then you're left out and cannot blend in.. That's a very very terrible feeling for me which is strong enough to make me cry after that.. I know I'm talking craps here.. Lols..

From this post.. I know I have a lot of bad personality.. That.. I admit..

Disappointment..

2010-05-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

Sigh.. Yesterday was felling quite bad for not being able to join my friends at the Spring.. I miss out all the fun they had and the movies too.. I felt even hurt when I heard from Karen how fun it was when they're in Spring.. Sigh.. It's the kind of feeling that nobody understands.. The worst feeling is being left out.. But.. kinda happy that they're having fun.. =)

This morning wasn't really a happy morning.. Mum nagged about me that I always wanted to go out with friends and never wanted to stay at home.. Sigh.. That is so not true at all.. And then she said lots of hurtful things.. Like she won't harap me when she's old and confirmed that she'll be sent to the old folks home when she's old.. and saying that I"m a useless daughter and so on.. I hold on my tears while having breakfast at the coffee shop.. All I can think of and wish for is running away from home.. And I was deeply hurt too when mum said that my Dad talks a lot of negative stuff about me and complain about me after everytime he sent me to any place I wanna go out with friends..

I was thinking.. Maybe next time I won't rely them much to send me here and there ler.. Maybe I can take bus to Spring.. Also can right? Now in Kuching there are so many bus transport.. It won't be a big problem I guess.. And I really got very disappointed that my parents are like that.. What I feared most and hate most is they always use my religion to mock me.. I don't like it..

This morning at church.. the sermon was about what are we running from our life.. then it talks about Jonah and the big fish.. A lot of times in our life we choose to be disobedient.. But we must come to know that through the things that God put us in.. God has a purpose not only for us, but for the people around us.. God's way are not our ways.. And God's thought are not our thoughts.. Maybe I'm given the choices of being obedient or disobedient.. Somehow I heard God's voice today.. He said: You're mature enough to handle this situation and difficulties.. No running away from it.. I'm with you.. Be there among the midst of your parents who do not understand you.. Because you're given a special ministry in it.. =) I'm hoping God will provide me wisdom to deal with them.. And I always remember somebody said this: As a Christian, we should always have patience.. Forgive others just as God has forgiven our iniquities.. Especially those who do not know God and be kind to them.. =)

Holiday!!!

2010-05-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

Holiday is here and my first holiday activity is spending time with my dear sister at her house having fun painting her nails.. hehe..

Tomorrow Saturday I'm going out having fun with my friends at Spring.. hehe.. HOPEFULLY I can see him tomorrow.. so long didn't see him ler.. Miss hims so much.. T.T ok.. enough for that.. hehe.. then 7th of June we'll be having dinner at Friends and Family.. hehe.. Welcoming back Felicia and Hoong Yeee.. He better make it and come.. haha.. I mean Hoong Yeee.. hmm.. what else... Gonna spend most of my holiday dealing with my homework and projects.. We're planning to make a solar fan.. hehe..

I'm a bit guai today as I did a bit of my homework.. hehe.. Today I work for a morning.. Gonna get my May salary soon.. hehe.. And if can.. Tomorrow I'm going to buy contact lens.. hehe.. I cannot stand pimples growing at the side of my eyes anymore ler!! T.T

Can't wait for tomorrow.. Sure gonna be fun de.. haha.. Hopefully lar.. So I got to go now.. Want to facebook a while.. hehe..

Live a Life

2010-05-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

Today is a Pentecost Sunday.. Went to church this morning with Andrea.. Then had lunch at Upwell there.. Today I had stomach upset.. Feeling quite weak since yesterday till now.. Sob Sob.. You know what's so geram for me today??? T.T That is I woke up at 6 a.m. today and I can't manage to sleep long.. It's weekend bo!! Hmmph! Want sleep long long but my biological alarm already waked me up ler.. T.T So I end up going downstairs doing my homewrok.. Ok lar.. I man guai de yi xia.. haha..

Was rushing chemistry, Pengajian am, maths T, physics and Muet homework.. Basically is every subject.. Sigh.. So stressed out.. Everyday I complained to ah neng how tired am I.. And everyday I moan that I want enjoy during the holiday.. It's deadly suffocating to me.. You know what my aunt said to me last night at dinner?? She said: "Ni yi wei ni qu Form Six shi qu enjoy de ar? =.=" Sigh..

I'm so so so looking forward to the holiday~ I want go gai gai with friends!! And what else, Ah neng knew my top secret liao.. So~ *phew*.. haha.. Oh ya, he's kinda changing lately.. Not for bad, but good.. But a bit weird weird de.. Become more caring than last time... Hmm?? What's wrong with my guy huh??

I love Myself ~

2010-05-21T22:27:00.001-07:00

Today is a Saturday and I had kelas gantian.. Finally weekend is here and I can take a deep breath a while.. It's been quite suffocating to study Form 6 actually.. Every subject has homewrok and even sometimes I can't cope with the syllabus.. Teacher tend to rush the syllabus bacause they need to finish teaching two years sylllabus in one and a half year time..

Me and him.. ok now.. no quarelling and we're back to old times.. Things aren't the same for sure.. But at least it's ok.. I'm glad about it.. =) I'm so looking forward to this coming holiday.. Hopefully can go out gai gai with him and friends and family.. =)

After that short breakup, I love myself more than last time.. Not only I want to enjoy my single life sometimes, I want to try to balance my time for God, friends and family too.. And sometime for myself too.. Pampering myself.. hehe..

Peace in heart..

2010-05-18T23:29:00.000-07:00

Today I succeeded again by getting through the day.. Today is an happy day for me.. =). I took bus home today and it was really crowded in the bus till people have to stand up.. The bus started its journey late so I also reached home a bit later than usual.. Hmph..

Then today, I sat for the inventory test.. Funny thing is kaiwee, alex and yuhuan all wishing me to fail the test.. haha.. so she bu de me to leave them.. bleks.. haha.. But I know they're just plain kidding lar.. Today Chemistry I really don't understand a single thing.. I can't get what the teacher is trying to deliver us.. That must be really disappointing for the teacher if she knows that.. Haha..

Hmm.. Cute thing is, mum was behind me today when I walked home.. hehe.. Dunno why we both keep smiling at each other.. lols.. I haven't eat luch yet.. Cause my computer business haven't seetle yet.. Which means I need to blog frst and face-booking first then baru I puas hati.. hehe..

I felt peaceful today.. ^^ thank you, my dear Lord~

Another Day To Go..

2010-05-17T23:48:00.001-07:00

Well, just came back from school not long ago and had my lunch already.. Was face-booking and resting.. Going to take a bath soon.. hehe.. Oh well.. Today was fine.. And today, I felt comforting and happy that each time I stepped into the office and gave in the changing stream letter and forms, I know the day tranferring to art side is not that long anymore.. =)

I still miss him.. And even accidentally "see" him in school this morning.. I was daydreaming actually.. All of them are hust illusion.. Sigh.. I'll get through it soon. I told myself a lot of times ler.. =)

I had quite a lot of tons of homework these few days though.. So my life was actually very contented these few days.. I'm getting better because I got a lot of good friends to help me through.. I'm glad and thankful..

Still, even when I'm alone, my mind will be searching for the memories again.. Never knew that I'll love a person until this stage.. Sigh.. Deep and hurt..

Smile :)

2010-05-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

I made it well yesterday.. I put on a sincere smile to face the world.. But deep inside my heart, only God knows that it was still a mask on my face..

I smile, laugh, cherish with him yesterday, joke around with him like as if nothing happened.. We'll be good friends, or no, best best best friends.. WE both make it to be a pause, take a break for this relationsip and focus on studies.. What it hurts today was every little things around me reminds of him.. I made it through today in school.. But when I'm in the bus, I cried.. Back at home, cried again.. It's just too painful to me..

Sigh.. He said he miss the days being single.. Am I a burden to him all these while? Or he refused to hurt me so he chose to keep quiet? Will things changed after my final exam next year? I wish I could know the answer.. I wish I could dig them out..

I have a lot of questions.. But.. I don't want to make him or myself sad anymore.. Feel like asking... Still I don't have the courage to go on for now.. I'll get through soon, this.. I believe..

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and those who are crushed in the spirit.. :)

A New Day..

2010-05-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

Miss him a lot today.. The moment I woke up today I cried non-stop.. Even when I attend church service I cried too.. I try to hold back those painful tears but they just stubbornly wet my eyes.. Drop by drop the fall from my eyes..

I keep praying to God to heal this broken heart.. I tried my best not to think about it.. Trying to minimise the pain I'm going through.. Maybe getting busy with works and studies will make me feel better.. It hurts a lot.. Heart bleeds..

These days mum nagged a lot too.. I'm really tired dealing all the things around.. Feel like escaping.. Sigh.. I hope time can heal my wound.. Now, whenever I pray or sing psalms or hymns I just cried.. Cry out desperatey to God.. And I have to put on a mask when facing the outside world.. It's torturing and suffering.. It's not easy.. It's hard.. Sigh..

Hurt..

2010-05-15T00:58:00.001-07:00

Well, though I don't like to say it out, but I know it's always much more comforting to say it out.. =) I'm single today on 15th May 2010.. Since morning I've been crying till afternnon.. And after taking bath only then I felt better.. I took out my sim card from my phone, keep my phone in a bag.. put away our monkey baby and the music box in my cupboard, trying to distract myself not to think anything by getting myself busy with homeworks and studies.. I hope I get better soon... I deleted all the sweet messages the I received from him and keep one only.. I did everything I can to heal my broken heart.. It hurts.. I know starting from today there will not be any good night kiss or morning hugs.. or getting "I love You" from him anymore.. It's not easy.. And I have to face his buddies in my class, can I pretend everything's fine? Can I hide the sad truth from everyone? Can I just suffer alone? Can I?

I just know that I love him a lot..

Excitement...

2010-05-04T01:57:00.000-07:00

Lol.. guess what??? I'm earning money to buy materials for my dream kindergarten and saving money to buy one building for my kindergarten!!! I know it's a bit too early.. but I'm on my way to make my dream come true!!! Can't wait to open my own kindergarten and teach little children about Jesus!! ^^

Smile, cause everything is going to be all right..

2010-04-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

When I looked back, I really find that I have neglected my blog for quite some time ler oh.. And I also discovered that my blog is kinda boring too..

Life as usual.. ^^ Just plain working and so on.. Well, guess what? I just went for a pimple treatment at Hock Lee few days ago and it nearly destroyed my face after the treatment.. But I'm happy that this treatment gives me back a healthy skin for my precious face.. haha.. There's a price to pay for it because I spent RM60 for that treatment.. haha..

Hmm.. Almost towards the day I have to resign from my job in bookroom and continue to head towards Form 6 school life.. I haven't buy my school bag yet.. and my white blouse too.. Haix.. What else? Erm.. My pens also.. Gosh.. I guess I'm going broke soon.. haha..

Monday I'm going back to school to look for the Form 6 name list to see whether I'm in or not.. Hopefully I'm in so that I don't have to write the stupid surat rayuan..

I'm looking forward to school reopen.. I'll be going to Art Side... *whee~* hehe.. And enjoy the different life from others.. ^^

missing pieces in life..

2010-04-21T05:56:00.000-07:00

Lately.. I really throw my dearest lovely blog behind my head ler.. Now that recently I remembered, I just wanna stop by to update.. whether there is anyone reading my blog or not.. I suppose no.. haha..

Today is Wednesday.. I took a leave today from my work.. Watched Amazing Grace.. Indeed a good movie.. hehe.. Yesterday watched Ten Commandments at my workplace.. Thumbs up for that movie also... hehe.. So basically today I'm enjoying myself, do a bit housework and so on.. and so on..

Tomorrow have to work ler.. Again there comes the day I have to wake up early again.. T.T Form Six starting soon.. and my 18th birthday coming soon too.. hehe.. actually I'm looking forward for a surprise..
dunno this year got or not.. sob sob.. hehe...

I guess that's all I can tell gua.. hehe.. I hope I'll update more often.. If not my poor bloggy will miss her owner a lot... I guess.. haha..

On the journey..

2010-03-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

Recently.. I cried a lot.. I faced lots of hardships in my relationship.. I felt sad and hurt.. I wasn't a strong fighter and a lot of times I felt really tired till I feel like giving up.. But I just can't afford to face the pain losing someone who is so close to my heart and whom I adore a lot.. Someone I truly love..

Love is a journey for two person who loves each other.. Sometimes when both had conflicts, we often wonder whether we still love him or her or not.. Like me, we keep having conflicts over little little things and end up making both side unhappy.. Sometimes we might choose to bear with it and to be patient.. But as time pass by, it'd often over the limit.. Till sometimes you'd think you can bear no more..

I'm on the journey..

Today was a Fairytale~

2010-03-20T03:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down when ever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is now it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around, yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Oh, oh, yeah, oh

Today was a fairytale

In Christ Alone

2010-03-17T06:28:00.000-07:00

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Latest updates in life..

2010-03-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

Well.. Came back from National Service on the 10th March.. Receive my SPM results on 11th March.. Got 8As, 2Bs, 1C and 1D.. Lols.. 12th March I went to Eon Bank and open an account.. 13th March is the first day I sterted to work in Trinity Bookroom.. 14th March is Sunday, a special person's birthday.. Hehe.. Went to celebrate at K Box in Spring.. Then recently nothing much happened lar.. Till today.. just really plain life.. But a very happy and contented life.. ^o^ Facebook-ing a lot recently.. Plan to go to Form 6 Art side.. Some good news here.. Mum allowed me to get BAPTISED!! hehe.. And she encouraged my brother to go to church too.. I hope someday they'd become Christians too and accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and their Sovereign Lord.. ^o^ same with my hubby too.. =)Lord.. Let me remember to pray for my beloved ones oh.. Hehe.. My new goal now: Be happy everyday and pray everday!! To live is to be an example of Christ.. =) It's so good to be back in God's arms.. ^^

Back for Chap Goh Meh..

2010-02-27T05:01:00.000-08:00

Whee.. home sweet home for 3 days 2 nights.. Everytime I come back home I sure gain weight de.. Recently the doctor just "diagnosed" me that I'm overweight.. Dead.. Whatever.. Anyway, I bought myself a pendrive and finish shopping for the present.. Hopefully that person will like it.. hehe..

Hmm.. nothing much to say but just wanna summarise what happened these few days in National service.. WE played the Colt M 16 last tuesday, super-duper fun.. And I got a tattoo on my right hand because of the recoil of the gun.. haha.. and I wanted to donate blood that day but the doctor said that I have low blood pressure so I was disqualified.. Thursday marching the whole afternoon and end up getting sunburn.. Sigh.. So dark now..

After plkn?? I got plans up in my mind now.. My aunt has helped me found a job, working as a cashier in bookroom.. hehe.. Combine my salary with my plkn pocket money, I think I'll be able to pay for my driving lessons' fee, buy myself contact lens which I really wanted a long time ago and a good wallet for myself.. Hopefully my money is sufficient.. hehe..

My New Year Celebration and Valentine's Day..

2010-02-15T00:09:00.001-08:00

Ok.. Start from the easiest first.. Nothing much happened for Velentine's Day except talking on the phone at night.. Lols~.. Till around 1 a.m. ^^ haha.. but that is definitely a sweet talk.. hehe..

My first day of Chinese New Year has nothing much too.. except like every year, I went to my Grandma's house to have breakfast, get lots of angpau, and bla bla bla till noon, eat at mum's colleague house, then balik tidur.. Eh, first thing first, sorry for the campur-campur language here.. Cause eh, seriously, I'm infected by the culture in National Cervice to talk rojak language with Umy.. hehe..

Then at night went to Aunty Lily's house to have dinner , then went to my 2nd aunt's house to visit her.. me and Ah Jing had lots to chat about our erhem erhem.. hehe..

2nd day as usual.. Went to 4 houses only, afternoon my cousins came to visit.. Haix.. my soar throat still in quite-bad condition.. I want it cepat-cepat pulih lar.. T.T at night, Sharon might come over to my house then went to somebody's house.. (erhem erhem..)

Tomorrow have to return to camp ler.. (Sigh.. can I don't go back??)I want home I want home.. Blueks.. tomorrow he is coming in the morning.. then afternoon have to go down to my grandma's house cause got open house.. then have to change into my uniform and go back ler.. T.T

Life in back in Kuching and my feelings and thoughts

2010-02-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

I'm so hyper-excited when I saw my parents yesterday when they came to fetch me home.. I was pulling two luggage home and after everything is done, off we're home.. headed towards Kuching's journey.. hehe..

Something changes in Kuching.. I felt so good to be home.. Miss everything in Kuching.. But unfortunately I lost my voice and really painful when talking.. Miss home so much..

This morning woke up at 6:30 a.m. Kinda used to the life over there to wake up early.. haha.. Help to settle everything down, changing the sofa sets, washing toilets in the afternoon and going to bake cheese cake tomorrow.. If can.. Going to buy ingredants later.. Sigh.. too bad I can't go back to school to visit teachers and my juniors.. sad sad..

Hopefully tonight can go to Spring to gai gai with him.. Hopefully.. Time is so short cause I only have 5 days off in Kuching and I got lots of major plans ahead.. ok, I hope I don't get sick.. Chinese New Year Round the corner you know.. Cannnot get sick..

Hmm.. Talking about life in camp.. Definitely fun and challenging.. It's a place where I truly grow up and learn lots of things about life and myself.. Oh ya.. I finish "P.S. I Love You" liao.. hehe.. proud of myself.. I got lots of new freinds, of course.. Like my best buddy in my dorm and class, Umy Atika..She's a Malay and we oftern had lots of things to share and talk about.. I got lots of nice nice de Malay friends.. They treat me very very good all the time.. hehe.. and really happy to be with them.. Of course there are conflicts arousing sometimes but I'm trying to dump them at the back of my head.. Forgive and forgot.. =) hehe..

The coaches are nice too.. But they aren't that nice when we have to kawad kaki under the rain yesterday before going home.. Hmm.. haha.. I'm gonna appreciate every moment I have in these 5 days.. hehe.. I love myself.. ^^

Oh Well..

2009-12-22T23:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating for quite a long time.. Was busy as usual.. Hehe.. Plus my computer was reformat and breakdown.. sob sob..

Holidays have been fun for me especially Christmas is just around the corner..Was planning to bake muffin to give out as Christmas presents but mummy don't allow cause at the meantime I'm still terribly sick.. Few days back, I went to damai beach for an afternoon with friends.. It was fun.. hehe.. and tomorrow will be Christmas Eve and we'll have a party at Grandma's house.. On Chrsitmas, I'll be earning money by hapling out for a Christmas gathering..^^ hehe..

Friends are all away for vacation.. But I most looking forward is 31st December cause we'll have a sleepover at my friend's house.. Um.. Hopefully it does come true..^^ Cant wait to receive my presents for Christmas.. Mum brought me to go shopping and bought a lot of pretty clothes and a pair of blue high heels.. I was thrilled.. Went for medical check up at Tanah Putih and was also busy preparing and to get ready for National Service..

Hopefully I can cope over there cause my body is weak and I hope I won't get sick all the time over there.. Hehe.. That's all.. XD

A Happy Day..

2009-12-16T04:44:00.000-08:00

Today is a really really happy day for me.. Hmm.. Went out to watch movie with friends.. ^^ at MBO.. The Princess and the Frog.. Then we go gai gai and walk around..

I'm hooked by this crazy game, Sorority Life.. haha.. I spent quite a lot of time up-leveling.. hehe.. very fun indeed.. hehe..

A lot of friends are going away ler.. sigh.. Tomorrow I'm going for check-up.. then this week have to clean house.. and then go shopping with family liao.. (Yeah!! Didn't I told you that I'ma shopaholic?) hehe..

Mixed Fruit Juice

2009-12-14T07:16:00.000-08:00

My feelings are exactly like mixed fruit juice now.. Sweet with different flavours.. Lolx.. Today finally finish exam ler.. We're all enthusiastic.. Haha.. Hmm.. Received my national service letter today... I dunno what to feel but that definitely means that I don't have a way to escape form it.. Sienx.. Nevermind.. Only two and a half month and I'll be back to work and making money.. =)

That's all.. I'm hooked with Sorority Life in Facebbok.. Kinda tired now so I'm crwaling to bed now.. Nights.. Muacks..

Oh ya.. I had a great time today at Lok Thian.. Our class dinner.. Upload photo soon.. hehe..

Inner soul

2009-12-08T04:08:00.000-08:00

Anyway, I felt better all these days.. Really happy for myself.. Till the day when it comes, I shall let go.. No worries, I'm a tough girl.. ^^

And hey, guesss what? Chemistry is over today!! Yahoo!!! So happy.. and Jeanne came back from Aussie.. Hehe.. She strolled the school around with May.. I managed to say hello just before I went to toilet with Yu Huan.. Lolx.. Anyway.. Today is a simple and happy day.. I just felt contented..

Thank you Lord.. For today.. Is it meant that I'm gonna lose something then I'll learn to appreciate what You have given me, Lord?

Sorry..

2009-12-05T15:04:00.000-08:00

Sorry bloggie.. I might have to abandon you for a while ler.. I don't have the mood to update my life anymore.. But I promised to update you when I felt better yea? Muackx..

Christmas coming soon and Happy Holiday.. XD

Strength

2009-12-03T22:31:00.000-08:00

Recently.. life has turned around like a tornado.. Everything changes fast and silently.. Looking back, there are so many things I might regret or might smile at those silly,touching memories because they've become part of my life spices.. They've been sweet too.. Just like Avril said in her song, Innocence, it's so beautiful that makes you wanna cry..

It might be painful.. or perhaps, they are painful till they make you numb and don't know what to feel.. And look up and look around.. feeling admired about people around.. I felt they are really lucky.. =)

If you happen to read this post, please take my advice.. Appreciate those who love you and those you love.. You never know who will leave you someday.. they might be the closest people to you.. And.. love them now.. You'll never know if there're any chances to love them back or not.. Don't leave any regrets in you life..For you only live your life once.. =)

Hope

2009-12-02T00:43:00.000-08:00

Pray that no matter what happens, I can accept the outcome and be strong.. Pray that I'd shed a little bit of tears but can still move on with my life.. Pray that all can these would be a pass and everything will start anew then.. Pray that I have the inner strength to face the worst and pray that everything would be just an illusion and the next morning when I wake up, everyhting will be just a dream.. Pray that God will hold my hand to walk through this and let me know that this is part of a life's journey.. Pray that even I fall down this time and hurt myself, I'd still be able to stand up and smile.. And tell myself, nothng is gonna beat me down.. =)

New Interests.. Lolx.. XD

2009-11-25T16:26:00.001-08:00

Hmm.. hot and cozy morning.. I was doing research on orchids which needed for my SPM PSV exam.. (art exam, f.y.i.) This weekend ain't going to be easy for me, since I have to cope four subjects while my other friends only cope three subjects.. Sob sob.. oh well, I guess it's useless to talk about his now..

So I found a new interest for myself, accidentally.. I love doing research.. hehe.. and exploring to know more wonderful things about certain things.. Like orchids, they came in various colours and shapes and sizes.. God's creation is indeed amazing..^^ Orchids are nice.. and it reminds me it's my grandpa and grandma's favourite.. =D

Anyway, I found myself getting speechless in front of my blog.. Sometimes my mind just go empty and dunno what to type.. or rather, how to express feelings and thoughts in words.. lolz.. Hmm.. maybe I do not have a rich vocabulary? Maybe.. Just maybe..

Btw, I know it's exam season.. But guess what friends? I'm already on my way busy preparing for National Service, graduation and christmas presents, and those who "demand" for their birthday presents next year.. XD.. No worries, I've already get them undercovered.. hehe.. Bleks..